FUN WITH LANGUAGE
The last time I was dragged kicking and screaming into a strip joint they gave all of the customer's change in $2 bills. I assumed that the bills thrown on stage, etc, would be doubled. The next morning I told all the guys with me that I wanted to buy all their leftover $2 bills and none of them had a single one of them left - they had all spent every dime they had.
My young friends bug me about dick pics for the same reason.
I think Donald Trump is just as surprised as everyone else that so many people worship him.
*It's called Florida.
*Remember when they called us snowflakes?
A pack of llamas is called a chia.
A pack of camels is why your dad left.
If someone makes you happy, make them happier.
EXEMPLARY HUMAN BEHAVIOR
Teach a man to dustpan and you'll feed him for life.
John Travolta and Princess Diana sharing a dance in the White House, November 1985.
He was so good in Michael that I forgave him for being a Scientologist.
JFK is being served fettuccine Alfredo by its inventor, Alfredo di Lelio at the restaurant Alfredo in Rome, Italy. 1963.
It’s not authentic fettuccine Alfredo unless Alfredo himself shoves it in your mouth with his bare hands.
Cutting Dumpling Wraps
Dad Superheroes
Floor Repair
*He had to first cut the hole out because it had bumps in it.
Hot Dog Maker
Raising a Grain Silo
Shot Putter to the Rescue
Fair play to her, the athlete who was supposed to run the event pulled out injured so instead of getting no points she volunteered.
Stencil Art
If he could cut that precisely with an Xacto knife he could have just painted it with a brush.
A salad with chicken = A breast in plants.
Small titties>Big titties
HUMAN BEHAVIOR THAT IS
LESS THAN STELLAR
*My bullshit detector is waking up the whole neighborhood.
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Here's an example:
We All Know Exactly How This Ends...
Why You Need a Dash Cam
Relaxing in the pool...
Dr. Pepper tastes like hand soap.
It is acceptable to dig up and display dead people but only if they're Egyptian and they died thousands of years ago.
OBJECTS OF INTEREST
Seven Trees Hotel in China - Sanya, Hainan.
"660-ton pendulum protects Taipei 101 from earthquakes and typhoons. Similar technology is used in many other skyscrapers around the world."
How it works...
"A qanat is an underground aqueduct that functions as a sustainable water management system. 3000 years ago, in what is now Iran, a type of underground aqueduct called a qanat was engineered to transport water over long distances to villages."
"The holes supplied air to workers who dug the aqueduct by hand over many miles. As well as air and ventilation the other general purposes of these holes include: 1 - Access Points to the underground channel, they allow people to enter the qanat for maintenance, repairs, and cleaning purposes. 2 - Extraction of Soil and Debris; During the construction. 3 - Water Collection, serving as collection points for water ... and - surely one of the purposes of the holes is for them to pop their heads up every so often to see where they were, and where they wanted to go?!"
Cyclists have been known to impale themselves on those.
I don't hate ketchup. I've eaten it with fries before but at 1/3 sugar I don't put it on meat.
Some sort of game controller?
Many of my friends worked getting our State Museum up and running. I was there when they uncrated a spacesuit that was worn on the moon. It came in dozens of protective layers and every single layer had dozens of labels that warned DO NOT CLEAN THE SUIT. One of the first museums to get a suit washed all the moon dust off.
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My friends (mostly artists) were real problem solvers when it came to building all the exhibits.
The museum was built in an old textile mill building. My contribution was when the director called me and asked what I would do with all the windows that had long ago been bricked in. I told him to paint them as if they were still windows. He asked what they should paint inside the windows and I told him you couldn't see inside. They will appear black.
And he did, and it looked great.
Tardigrade Tax
Birds get it.
Parenting in a nutshell...
"You want the bench shaped like a coffin?"
"Nobody will notice."
Everybody noticed.
Star Nursery
Does this part look like a face to anybody but me?
There were dinosaur fossils when dinosaurs were still around.
You know you are old when your party drug is Lactaid.
TRIVIA
I like this sort of thing. I hope you do also.
BTW I didn't know only one.
My favorite was when Jesus said he would return while his disciples were still alive.
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6 comments:
Why ain't you posting any of my pictures, you magnificent bastard? Has my standard dropped that far? Lol
Puzzle. Time: that box can only hold eight pieces of pizza the way it's cut.
But, one can argue that there's nothing wrong with that because they just finished the first pizza and open a new box. And that's why we see nine pieces of pizza.
I think the biggest thing is wrong with that photo is there's only two glasses on the table instead of four. What are the others drinking?
And why are the two drinking milk?
And why is that glass of milk so darn close to the tables edge right next to her elbow?
Puzzle Time
3 slices are missing from the box but they're eating 4 slices.
Puzzle time Why aren't they sitting around the whole table? Who drinks milk with pizza? Even kids know better than that.
D4: That's great.Good to know they are not just style.
C2: My 29 year old daughter just got married. She found it very difficult to find a somewhat stable and masculine lefty. The guy is an engineer (got a useful degree) has a job, no drugs, likes guns and doesn't have a twat knot. And to top it off he IS PAYING BACK HIS STUDENT LOANS.
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