THE SECOND AMENDMENT
And with a title like that, you can probably guess what is inside...
And I don't even remember how that pistol came into my possession, but I've had it a long, long time.
---
I would like you to appreciate how perfect the lettering is.
You can order vinyl letters from Amazon cheaply. After painting the area white I first laid out tape to keep the letters level - this is important. Then I used tweezers to lift the letters off the sheet and apply it to the box. Then I spray-painted it brown. When it is sufficiently dry I used an Xacto knife to delicately lift the letters off.
---
The letters by themselves are rather durable. I once used them to spell out "MY OTHER CAR IS AN ALFA" on the back bumper of my work van and they lasted for years.
WORDS FORMING SENTENCES
When I moved to Oklahoma in the 9th grade, I was warned that a certain history teacher was very mean and I should behave myself in her class. So, the first question she asked me I replied, "I haven't the foggiest idea," and she went ballistic. She made me stay after school and threatened me with every weapon in her arsenal. And after that, I studied the crap out of every lesson just so I could look her in the eye and give her the precise answer...then smile.
Edison was much, much better at PR.
I once shaved my beard but left my mustache and it was so massive that it made my chin look nonexistent.
Sorry for the quality of that photo. I lifted it out of a group shot of the participants of an epic road trip. There was a lot of drinking, of course, and poker playing, and the next morning while eating breakfast in a restaurant one of the guys said, "I lost almost $100." Then one by one the guys lamented how much they had all lost. Then they looked at me - the guy who had won all the money - and it was declared unanimously that I would buy breakfast for the whole table.
^^A3^^
I built a 24'x24' deck on the back of my house and to everybody who visited I would say, "I have the biggest deck in Rosewood."
^^A4^^
Reminds me of my utter amazement at finding out my British waiter was faking it for higher tips. And according to him, it worked.
And...
I can not live alone. A life unshared is meaningless to me.
Anytime anyone tells me that they are going to tell me something that I can't tell anyone else I tell them that if they trust me with the information then they should trust me with who I do or do not share it with otherwise I don't want to be told.
It has been years since I have driven at night.
Yeah, like fossil fuels cars don't run out of gas.
Don't cry because it's over.
Cry because it happened.
Nifty is short for magnificent...or so I'm told.
GET LEARNT
Oh, they said the same thing about trains and the telegraph.
Here are some of the points from the article:
Owning a cat and caring about the environment should not have to be mutually exclusive,
Putting a bell on your cat’s collar lets prey know that there’s a threat nearby and gives them a chance to escape before they are spotted.
Bells on cat collars can reduce the amount of prey caught by roughly half.
Rare giraffe without spots born at Tennessee Zoo
I seem to remember that a second one has been born.
"Whenever you shuffle a deck of cards to create a new order, it is almost guaranteed that that specific order has never before existed in the history of card-playing. In fact, there are more ways to order a deck of cards than there are atoms on Earth — and "even if someone could rearrange a deck of cards every second of the universe’s total existence, the universe would end before they would get even one billionth of the way to finding a repeat."
The Old Cincinnati Library, Before It Was Demolished In 1955
There were plans to turn a local abandoned school building into a library and to ensure that the floors could tolerate the great weight of the books they brought in dozens of 55-gallon drums. Then they set up very sensitive lasers to measure the sag after all of the drums were filled with water. Afterward, they just drained the water out of the window and removed the drums.
I thought that was very clever.
Recognize these people?
Elvis And His Mother Gladys
A Covey Of Young Nerds Compete For The *national 'Space Invaders' Championship, *hosted By Atari - NYC, 1980
Is there any human endeavor that can't be turned into a competition?
---
I was an Astroid guy and I got really good at it. But the absolute hardest video game of all time was "Chip's Challenge". It was pure logic and it took me two years to complete every level. And that level was the only one that relied on speed.
*OSIT
Ukraine
PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO MEET
"Eat the delicious food," says the cannibal.
Its Bitsy Spider is just Sisyphus for toddlers.
Dr. Pepper is the name of the person who created it, not the drink.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT
I have a real thing about liking to look at things I've never seen before.
A couple of costume ideas...
Get it?
Corgi Line
Wiring Hell
There should be a TV game show where couples have to scroll through every streaming service looking for something they both want to watch and if time runs out, they get divorced.
Parkour is the act of moving through an environment in the fastest way possible. It’s all about speed and efficiency. Now imagine the opposite of that. The slowest, least efficient way, to get to where you need to go. That’s what happens when my wife suggests a shortcut.
HUMAN BEHAVIOR
Notice the safety line. But if his bike falls and he's dangling, how does he get saved?
Recognize her?
Elvira
I almost missed the mishap.
How long did that take you?
Face Control
I bet she spends a lot of time in front of a mirror.
8 comments:
^^C10^^
I would fire whoever is responsible for that.
Puzzle Time
Vesparados
Beards age all men and most women.By an average of ten years in my opinion. This may be the desired effect in a young man.
^^ A4 ^^
In Naples Maine there is a restaurant in which all the waitresses wear a t-shirt emblazoned with “I sat on the big deck”, and the waiters wear one saying “come sit on my big deck”
^^ A7 ^^
I have a friend who, when asked if he can keep a secret always replies with, “You can trust me. It’s the people I tell who you can’t trust.” Truer words never spoken
Dear Mike,
I've always thought of clean-shaven me as fearful of their true natural appearance.
RH
Rlph; artifice goes with the artistic temperament. I myself would wear a padded bra if I really needed one.
Do you mean 'men' or 'me' in your reply to me? Mike
Dear Mike,
"Men". Fucking spellcheck!
RH
Post a Comment