CARTOONS AS SOCIAL COMMENTARY

Not all that funny, but....

(it's game day, so not much time...WE WON, it was an early game, I've been drinking Bloody Mary's...so deal with it...)

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 Yeah, god went out with Delta Dawn, the cheerleader who likes it a little rough.

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Nazi German unleashed a blitzkrieg on it's eastern neighbor. In order to disguise his true intentions, Hitler dubbed Sept, 1st, "Take Your Tank to Poland Day".

(I found that hilarious...but I'm not Polish....)

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"It says here on your resume that you give a shit."

"I didn't get around to updating it."

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We have art in order not to die of the truth.

(further I would argue that finding the absurdity in life IS it's goal...)

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I remember the first time I heard the phrase "Bankrupt General Motors", and it felt as melodramatic as "Mom's nude photos".

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(I almost didn't include this next one because to even suggest that an uncle could molest his nephews is saturatingly repugnant to me.....but.....hold your breath...)

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To stay in shape my wife started walking five years ago and now we don't know where the hell she is.

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If you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel the need to ask; "You won't show those to anyone will you?"
The answer is always "Yes", no matter what the lying motherfucker says.

(write that shit down young female visitors)

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The life of a daily blogger......

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It was a rough night. I woke up the next morning and found a ticket in my pocket that read: Found nude in a tree.

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A young friend of mine told me that one night his girlfriend went down on him and hummed the Starwars theme and pretended his dick was a light saber....he bought the engagement ring the next day.
(ladies...keep the pen out, you might want to take more notes...)

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Never enter a nudist gay pool hall unless you are prepared for some surprises.

(think about that imagery for a minute...I'm actually proud of it)

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Never do drugs that you find in a motel closet or tied as a gift wrapped package onto your cat's collar. Trust me.....no, I mean it....Don't!

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I've discovered that a diet consisting solely of bacon will give the average person only slightly elevated blood pressure after three months of consumption.
(I decided to stop my bacon only diet experiment after going to the fair. We stopped to watch the pig races and when those little bastards came abreast of me....they froze in their tracks.  I took it as a sign.)

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McDonald's screwed up my drive-thru order, so I was forced to drive around again. When I got to the window I told them they had McFucked up. She smiled....thankfully.

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(that was NOT one of mine....but I wish it was) 

(Abraham hears voices in his head that tell him to kill his son and he makes a gallant attempt that is only stymied by yet another voice that tells him it was just a test. What exactly would you make of that story if you applied the modern understanding of Son of Sam and the other thousands like him? Good luck with that.)

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There is a math teacher who staples Burger King applications to failed tests.
Bravo, wise woman!

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If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

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The chances of you dying on the way to get your lottery ticket is greater than your chances of winning.

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"If a train breaks a wheel, they don't shoot the locomotive."
(The person who said that has obviously never been on a duck hunt in the South)

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I got so stoned last night that I sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. My buddy was sitting in the passenger seat "driving" with a paper plate.
(at least it was memorable...what did you do last night?)

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If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.

(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!)

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Not many people know that Albert Einstein had a brother who was used in Nazi experiments. 
His name was Frank Einstein.

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(that, dear visitors, is not all that funny, but another visitor sends me a whole bunch of stuff and I feel compelled to use some of her stuff from time to time. So....what have YOU sent me lately? You know, I don't make all this stuff up.)

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Why is bra singular and panties plural?

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One of my very own....

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