I SPEND A LOT OF TIME LOOKING AT PEOPLE'S FACES...

I have an excellent crap detector. I always look people in the eyes when they speak to me and there's always something in the eyes of a bullshitter.
(I wrote the above, then found this)

This guy picked up a grenade to save his buddies. His new hand is incredible...he can even shake hands with it and it matches the squeeze of the other person....TRUE....

So, ah, what do the whores have to say?

I once watched a TV show about women who wanted to become movie stars. They were asked a series of questions and one of them was, "How do you feel about the producer's couch?" They all said they would fuck someone to get in a movie but one of them said, "I would fuck you, the camera man, the sound man, the door man, the caterer....you get my drift."


I don't know what language that it, but it just seems not to belong there....

This is what happens if you pass out drunk at a frat party...

And that's why this may be funny.

This is the look of pure pride. He knows that this meat is cooked perfectly...

This looked sooooo shopped, but there were a whole series of this confrontation....the bear ran the tiger off. 
I didn't even know that bears and tigers lived in the same place.

The look on her face says, "I know the snake just ate so it won't be hungry for a week."....plus, "I'm naked and snakes like naked."

Guess who this is....

I typed in "Ninjas" into my thesaurus and it said "Ninjas could not be found".
Well played, ninjas. Well played.

Popularity is for mediocre people.

I think that idea just popped into his head....
(and I think it's spelled S-E-X)

I think she is trying to fart...but I could be wrong...

This is true....

As an artist I always delight in things like this.

A member of my crew in my truck once asked me if I thought he painted the faces himself and I said, "No, he tried to paint them himself."


No matter how old you are, no matter how badass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their toy phone, you answer it.

Juxtaposition....

These people are within touching distance of the most powerful man on earth and what do they do? Flash their cameras in his face.
Ya'll, stop with the camera shit....please....PLEASE!
But look at the child in the bottom right...

??????

"You want me to marry who?!?!"

Just another kid being blown away by her dad....

Look at her face and the face of the guy behind her....she's about lose that headdress.....

1,000 words....

I have this model shotgun....

This man just heard of the death of bin Laden...

This might be shopped....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!


This is my bartender. He competes in triathlons.
He is 50 years old. I'm proud of him.

That HAD to be embarrassing....

Quid pro quo, motherfuckers!

I came upon a web site with hundreds of these.
I had no idea.

Speaking of police....

Yep. Just another peaceful demonstration...

Yes, she's in jail and she is not....

Please, somebody explain this to me....

I think they are using the cross as an "I" to spell OHIO.


Okay, I need help with this one also...

How hot was it?

Great word:
APODICTIC - Incontestable because of have been demonstrated.


TOONS OF THE DAY....

One of my very own....

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T.....


This is so silly, but it's happening all over the world...

AND LASTLY...
Tonight after dinner my wife got real serious and told me that she wanted to ask me a question and that I didn't have to answer it if I didn't want to.....which fascinated me.
She said, "When you were at the bar during the Japan/USA soccer match, did you hear any racial slurs against the Japanese?"
I screamed, "I sure as shit hope so!!!!"
She was befuddled, so I explained, "When the University of South Carolina plays Clemson, we call them cow fucking, inbred, sister raping, retards. It's just a thing sports fans do."
That seemed to quell her befuddlement.