FOLIO OLIO: "HUMAN ODDITIES" OR "IT TAKES ALL KINDS"

I was put in jail one time. The very first question the other prisoners asked me was "What you in fo?"
This guy has a problem....

(I personally think the stupid motherfuck just couldn't spell worth a shit)

This has got to be the coolest wallet IN THE WORLD!!

Thinking outside the box...delightful....

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Listen to little children, people. Just listen. Never judge them. Just listen. They will amaze you.

And not one fuck was given that day....

Look at this guy! It's one of those awkward moments when you laugh in a very serious situation.

I, naturally, like other funny people...

My life, my choices, my mistakes, my lessons....not your business.

I especially like famous people who think that an ex-cab driver figured out the meaning of life. But seriously, people can do whatever they want...I mean that....as long as they don't try to fuck with me. You can believe that toast is really a god and I will ask questions about that, but when you get around to forbidding me from eating toast, then we have a real problem.

If there is no god, then how do you explain Krispy Kreme donuts?

I never dreamed that they ate off paper plates standing up..........think about that a minute....

I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to draw 'not gay' on it. But I'm not against gays, so under that I have had to put 'but supportive'. It's weird how one group of people stole refracted light from the rest of us. That's very greedy, gays.

Speaking of virgins....

How's that Cinematic History degree working out for you?

What could possibly go awry?

My wife took up another hobby....

My wife and I had a few words last night.
Most of them were fuck and you.

Does running late count as exercise?

What a sublime photo....

Question: What (EXACTLY) do you think the person who took this photo looks like.....yeah, think about it.
It's kept me awake for three fucking days.

(did you espy the "artwork" on the wall?)
Shit is about to get real.

Alcohol doesn't make you behave badly, it just stops you from caring about the embarrassment.

Talk about attention whores. Within a few feet there is a BOAT!!!! JEEEEEEZ!!!

A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

This kid has 32 fingers and toes.
And, yes, I would like to meet him.

Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

Schadenfreude....

Even if it wasn't discovered yet, Mt. Everest was still the highest mountain in the world.

WTF does that T-shirt denote?

Seriously.....WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?

That black woman's hilarious gyrating neck rotation irritation indicator in 5......4......3.....

Bipolar Disorder is like having an amusement park in your head.

And yo mama must be overjoyed, bro.....

(did you notice those are one dollar bills?)

What was the president's name in 1975?

TRUE: Notice guy stabbed in middle of street and small blade in right hand of fleeing guy....and, of course, the concerned citizen....

The president's name in 1975 was still Barack Obama.

Looks, guys, if you are new to Folio Olio you may get the wrong idea from the photos above. But trust me....I make fun of every fucking body.

Don't believe me? Go back in my archives and click on "Being Southern: A tutorial".

Peace, dewd.....

Or not.

This is true....

It's football season again folks. I like to watch the games naked...except for the helmet I always don. Then I hook up the blood pressure gauge just to check and see how fucking awesome the game is.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
TAKE THAT COMPUTER POP-UP GUY!!!!!

I have a dear friend who thinks more or less as I do on most matters. Sometimes we find ourselves in a bar and someone makes some racist comment. My friend, who is from England, then switches to a thick souther drawl and begins with a shouted, (say it in the drawl and it's even funnier) "It is the nature of the negro race...."
And then he tries to out racist the racist as a form of mocking him.
I find that delightfully hilarious.

It's YOU'RE!!!!

I still don't know why this error rubs me the wrong way, but it does.....even though I assume I've made it myself. Yeah, go figure.

These are some of the smartest motherfuckers on the planet posing with their helmets on backwards.....that is all.....

Very first planking....serious planking....in front of royalty...yeah, you win....

I had a Red Bull for the first time today. Felt great at first, but crashed hard after a while. Maybe it was the whole bottle of vodka, though........or the fact that I was driving and somehow missed that stop sign.

Please don't tell little people like this, that they might...just might, burn in hell forever. It just ain't fair, ya'll. You know better.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!

(note from blogger: If you think the above is funny, I can't wait until you get to tomorrow's blog about Human Sexuality....it's a fucking hoot!)

??????

In that desert, I bet it's hotter than nine naked women in a Volkswagen.
(and I have no idea what point the photo above is trying to make)

I would so definitely do this......then clean the bird shit off my rug....tee-heeing the whole time....

Last night I saw a drunk girl in a mini-skirt "escorted" out of a bar. I can only assume she was wearing a thong because she shit herself and the guys I was with affectionately called it "a split log".....ugly, that.

This man must have a dick down to his fucking knees...or a tongue up to his fucking brows....

Bummer....

"Hey, Marge, you wanna get naked?"

Not everyone has the emotional balance for tattoos....

Okay, I'm impressed....

Okay, she is impressed....

They grow up so quickly don't they.....

Here's the answer to the sign thanking parents for bringing their daughters to college....

This is just a segue to the next item...

The new cigarettes....

Yeah, yeah, yeah.....if EVERYBODY is so fucking special, why are we, as a nation, just about as stupid as fucking Somalia?

Okay....okay...SOME of them ARE Snowflakes and can do no wrong....

TRUE: I was once painting a mural downtown and it was so hot during the day that we started at 4am so we could knock off when it got sweltering. That early is when the bums start to climb out from under the bushes where they slept. Our favorite bum was Slim Jim, a tall skinny black guy whom we always gave money...because he was so......entertaining. You see, Slim Jim was actually two people in one. One personality was very polite, quiet and well spoken. His other personality was loud, abusive and cursed incessantly. He constantly talked to himself.
"You know you can't keep screaming like that or we are going to get arrested again."
"FUCK THOSE BASTARDS! AIN'T NO MOTHERFUCKER TELLIN' ME WHAT TO DO."
"I've told you and told you, that if you anger the straight people, they won't give us any money."
......this man even spoke to the left or right depending on who he was at the time.

TOONS TO AMUSE....