To be honest, I find most of these very funny...
CRUSADER: Fighting for a god who is so great that he needs him to enforce his will.
Reminds me of my honeymoon...
TRUE: I started walking out of the bar today and waved goodbye to the oldest man there, which is my habit of doing, and he asked, "Where you going so early?"
I said, "I got a wife that needs satisfying."
He asked, "Who you going to get to do that?"
On the way out the door I said, "I got a yard man."
Some of you women may not get this one...
Puff didn't always frolic, but when he did it was in the autumn mist.
TRUE: In an interview, Robert Reich, the economist, said, "I've known Bill Clinton since he was 22...at Oxford, as grad students...we didn't enhale together.
(very funny man, he)
I love making fun of this batshit crazy motherfucker....
I smoke so much pot that sometimes I forget to smoke pot.
I am not allergic to expensive coffee.
I just tell people that because I hate going to those places.
I told my wife that she could learn a valuable lesson from Mother Terresa......moisturize daily.
(loyal reader, Scott, told me that his phone won't let him highlight my answers that I usually had between brackets in white font. Is this acceptable?)
PROCRASTINATION: The art of keeping up with yesterday.
I see what you did there Mr. Porpoise....
A guy walked up to me on the street today and said, "I can't tell if you're homeless or a wizard.
I took it as a supreme compliment.
...notice the extraordinary exactness....
Okay, this is not all that funny, but it's been in my file since 1985 so I had to set it free sometime...
Now we will never know...
I want to meet this person...I really, really do...
Try to read this without singing it....just try...
This is so fucking absurd I don't even know what to say...
This insanity has got to stop, ya'll! Please do your part.....just laugh. With enough of us laughing the din will drown out the insanity.
Speaking of absurd....
Speaking of toys....
The absolute absurdity of this is mind boggling...
I think angry feminists are cute....espectially the ones with big tits.
I decided to go on a diet. In 2 weeks I lost 14 days.
If you don't know why this is funny, it's okay, it really is...
WTF?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!
WTF?
Anyone?........Anyone?.....
The whole death thing confuses me.
I would never want to be lied to if (when) I am near my end.
Don't even think about it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!
If you don't know why...........get out more.
One of the funniest things I've ever seen....
Women are called the better half, because they get the better half of everything you own if you ever divorce them.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
And now...living life one nightmare at a time...
Those zany Libyans.....and that motherfucker's finger IS ON THE TRIGGER!!!!!....WHILE HE GIVES THE MAN A WEDGIE......
What's wrong with this picture?
My brother told me that there has never been, is not, and will never be a gay fisherman.....I'm having my doubts.
My wife has taken up a new hobby....
White people........go figure.....
TOONS OF THE DAY....
Speaking of....
What the fuck's up with this shit........???
(notice how I forced just a tad of social commentary into even my cartoons?)
One of my very own...
WOMEN WHO LET PEOPLE PHOTOGRAPH THEM PULLING DOWN THEIR PANTIES....FOR REASONS THAT ELUDES ME....SORT OF....
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