FOLIO OLIO: THINGS THAT MAY NEED A LITTLE EXPLAINING

I have the local Sperm Bank's home page as my desktop image. My wife asked why and I said, "What can I say. I love coming here."

I watched the MU/Chelsey game. This guy somehow found himself directly in front of the goal with the goalie five feet behind him. He could have walked it in, but.......
HE MISSED IT TEN FEET TO THE LEFT!!!!

You can't be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn't work that way. You are already hard to want.

This is fucking true, ya'll....

In my hometown the NAACP had a rally on the state house steps. They build a partition around George Washington's stature so that no one would be offended.
Is there a chance in hell that I am allowed to be offended by this?

Sometimes I can't tell if it's a Target employee or just some asshole wearing a red shirt.

I wish I had a British accent.

Please think about this....please....

Oh, I forgot. Your holy book actually commands you not to think too much...

Laughter is the best medicine....besides medicine, of course.

I have no idea what this means....

I know it's a good day when I get through it without biting someone.

This is one of the weirdest things I've seen in a long, long time...

Dumb is never cute.

I think I've posted this before, but it demands condemnation....

Damn!!!

TRUE: This is what Mt. Rushmore was supposed to look like before they ran out of funding...

?????

How to tell a drug dealer moved into your neighborhood...

High-heel shoes...

We've all seen women do this...

And this is what is happening to their feet.

My question is: Who came up with this unhealthy fashion fad? And why would anyone fall for it? Seriously.

If this "caught on" in New York or Paris or wherever, would you women start wearing it? I just don't get it?

??????

Just because I have joined their struggle for equality doesn't mean I don't find it funny sometimes...

?????

I say, if you are going to start fucking around with genes and shit, why ain't somebody working on this?

Check this out....

HE'S TEXTING!!!!!!!!

This was a short film clip that I couldn't figure out how to post, but it had these two women trying over and over and over to get they vote in the slot....it was hilarious...