This is a very long post. I got carried away...so sue me.
LET'S DO COMPUTERS FOR A WHILE
Whenever I borrow any device with batteries from anyone, I write a creepy note and sneak it in the battery compartment.
When I'm 80 I want to try all the hard drugs that I'm too cautious to try now. I like to imagine the 80 year old me on an LSD trip.
I find it interesting every time I see a painting of Adam and Eve and they both have belly buttons.
Make sure you read all of this...
If you lie, karma comes back with an angry, obese black woman from downtown Miami and she will be pissed.
STRANGERS HAVE THE BEST CANDY
Three crossword clues that make me get all tingly and shit...
Dressing place: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Dead letter: _ _ _ _
Star men: _ _ _ _
Highlight for answers - [ Salad bar, rune, magi ]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
My wife asked me if I thought she was fat....I told her she was just easy to see.
My wife asked me if I thought she was fat....I told her she was just easy to see.
NOW LET'S DO BOOKS
Sunday I was watching NFL football and the commentator used the phrase "He made a great move in the hole" and it reminded me of my honeymoon.
This was printed on the cover of the Banksy book...
and it's fucking perfect....
I think this is an anti-judgement type of children's book...
If abortion is murder, are blow jobs cannibalism.
I think I saw the movie they made from this book....twice...but mostly the end when it gets freaky.
My wife is out of town. Found this in her panties drawer...
NOW LET'S DO MAPS AND GRAPHS
This if fucking amazing....and TRUE....it seems mothers don't want to give birth on Halloween...
(Okay, I can understand C-Sections and Induced, since you have to schedule them, but what about natural births?)
Boredom is contagious.
Boredom is contagious.
Boobs are like the sun. You can only take quick glances.
But if you wear sunglasses you can stare as long as you want.
T-Rex hated pushups.
LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF MISCELLANEOUS
I printed this off for my friend...a Vikings fan...
Fucking police!!....the woman across the street stands naked in her window watching me jack-off and I'm the pervert?!?!
Anybody?.........anybody???
I'd boycott everything Wall Street made if they actually made anything.
Dear Ladies,
If a man whistles at you, don't respond.
You are a lady, not a dog.
If you don't know about pre-1964 coins, you might want to start paying attention...
Unfortunate arm gesture...
Kids, never mix pot, alcohol and Vicodin unless you want a severe case of the fucking wonderfuls.
Clever guy....
Do you think they did this on purpose?
They have developed a compact fluorescent bulb that will last long than it takes to read the government guidelines on how to safely dispose of compact fluorescent bulb.
Don't we all, my friend, don't we all....
I will not rest until the unemployed and miserable become the employed and slightly less miserable.
Why they invented spellcheck...
Unfortunate juxtaposition of two unrelated articles...
I had a 3rd grader play with himself constantly...
I'm do not abuse alcohol. I only drink two times a year....on my birthday, and on days that are not my birthday.
Give this a minute....
You might want to read all of this...
Why you don't order uniforms from China...
(that's funny as shit, ya'll)
Art or no Art...you decide....
Art or no Art...you decide....
TOO MANY TOONS ABOUT DEATH AND DYING AND I DON'T KNOW WHY....
One of my very own...
NAKED WOMEN BEING SILLY....
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