The above is the reason I like language. I call my wife a quean all the time, and, well, what she don't know....
Sometimes I like to imagine what it would be like if my penis grew a thumb.
If you don't know why this is funny, it's okay, it really is...
Sometimes I like to imagine what it would be like if my penis grew a thumb.
If you don't know why this is funny, it's okay, it really is...
But just in case you want to know why the above is funny, Duchamp (not pronounced Doo-champ) made art from what used to be called "Found Objects". I like them and so should you.
There is a very, very thin line between being inventive when making art and being cute. I'm sorry, but it's my opinion that this is just cute....
Super realistic and really big art is all the rage now. My jury is still out.
Whenever I take a survey and they ask me my hobby, I like to put Cat Rape.
As someone who had to learn all about this shit one time, this is the best illustration of how it works I've ever seen...
My wife got sick once. She sent me to the doctor to get the medicine. A saw him a couple of days later and he asked if my wife had taken all the pills. I said, Yeah, I shoved them down in oranges. He said, But I told you they were suppositories. I just smiled at him.
I have shown you this image of a glacier before. I found it years ago and it was stated that it was a natural occurrence. I would like very much to believe that.
I'm going to open a store next to "forever 21" and call it "finally 22".
Whenever I'm about to do something iffy I think, Would an idiot do that?
That's pretty good advice.
There's too many people in the world. We need a new plague or a really, really big war. The smart money is on the plague.
This is a snore control device...
Sleeping is my drug.
My bed is my dealer.
And my alarm clock is the police.
These are left-over gas masks from Chernobyl.
Women who don't wear underwear never get their panties in a wad. It's a fact. Look it up.
A couple of pranks you might want to try.
TRUE: In the entire history of the earth, it has completed one tenth of one percent of an orbit around the Milky Way.
This is a cloud of alcohol in space...yes...ALCOHOL.
Maybe there is a god....
Sometimes when my wife is out of town I like to cover myself in Vaseline and pretend I'm a snail.
At first I thought that this was just a new design for dice and thought...why not? But if that were so, why are there all those blank sides?
I've invented a new drinking game.
Rules: Never. Stop. Drinking.
This man's alarm clock is the sprinkler system...
I used to think writing in cursive meant you used a lot of dirty words.
It was stated on more than one occasion that this was not photoshopped. And I want to believe that...
And about those alligator eating Burmese Pythons in the Everglades...
More interesting to me, the cold doesn't actually kill them. They go into a kind of hibernation, which makes them easy pickins for rats, racoons, buzzards, etc.
Alcohol is not the answer to all the questions.
But if you don't get the answer, it helps you to forget the questions.
I want to meet this man.
I don't need pot to be hungry, lazy, and paranoid.
My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did....she's 21 and her name is Marti....with an "I".
Speaking of human brains...
The human brain like you've never seen it before...
The brain is the most important organ you have....according to the brain.
It's a grow your own mushrooms kit.
I want one....
Do not cross the wires...
This one is to make my friend, Kent's stomach get all queasy....
(that's not true, of course, but I sure wish the rumor would spread)
Dear Magnetic Field,
Let me be the first to thank you. I've been waiting until you needed it most.
Dear Magnetic Field,
Let me be the first to thank you. I've been waiting until you needed it most.
I have no idea why this is important.
Some guy says that this is the best map ever....at least it's got Antarctica....
Feel old yet?
I love simple solutions to problems...
Ever wonder what happened to the bison? This is just one of many of these...
Each board is completely natural.....magnificent....
I read it wrong, and wanted to know if you did also.
If you don't know why this is clever...
...look up the word "KERN".
This little guy seems very pleased with the whole affair...
I'm always amazed at how many animals eat their own. I watched a documentary today that showed meerkats, in an effort at population control, will kill the babies of other females.....MEERKATS?!?!?!
There are several stamps like this. I thought this one was the most clever.
Interesting question...
Shit I didn't know until I ran across this.
Very, very hard to figure out, but the graphics are cool...
This would be the kind of shit I would do.
I mean that.
You want to know why China will overtake us?
Read this shit....
That site that has people submit a photo of themselves Then and Now is getting quite competitive. Take a look at these first two...
Now look at this.....do you get it?
This is the man pictured in one of the most famous photographs ever....
TOONS TO AMUSE....
One of my very own...
MOSTLY NAKED SLUTS SHOWING THEIR TATAS OUT OF WINDOWS...
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