A TRUE OLIO

First, a few post-Thanksgiving thoughts...

Just think....If the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey, we would have all had a piece of ass this Thanksgiving.


If you don't know what "nom" is, you need to look that shit up...

You know, when I die I just hope some body doesn't pull my neck out of my ass like you did that turkey yesterday.

This has got to be one of the saddest things I've ever seen...

 Then I was what this patriot is eating...

If I ever met this guy, I would start the conversation with something like this...Whose brains do you think would taste better; Einstein's or Wilber Wright's?...just to throw him off his game.


Time is not the cure.
Time don't give a shit.

Did you ever ask yourself who gave the banks the green light to sell houses to people who had no credit history?

For a hundred years there were strict guidelines on such loans, then, with a stroke of the pen, poor people could buy a house......and it sounded like such a noble endeavor. 

It's not ironic when it's all the time.

If you don't know why this is interesting, it's okay...it really is...

I fucking love onion rings.

Corporations are people.
Pizza is a vegetable.
The Internet is censored.
Protest is illegal.
Welcome to the 21st century America.

If you have never seen the middle image...skip this one...

Talk - Action = Shit




Crossword puzzle clue: Foreign tender
_ _   _ _ _ _
[ au pair ]

I really appreciate that I now like soccer.

Most of my friends are like this guy...

You can't say 'Mmmmmmmmmm' for 7 seconds while holding your nose.

 Get it?

When you tried to say Mmmmmm for 7 seconds, did your cheeks puff out?

This mouse decided to make his home in a ....... wait for it....... OWL'S NEST.

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WHEN YOU WORK FOR THE CIRCUS.

Remember the toast sandwich being the cheapest meal...well in Japan they have some competition....

REPLACE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN WITH NARCOTICS.


And on a related note...

Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.

If you ever go to a man's house and he has a poker table like this, then it is required that you suck his dick. It's a rule....look it up.

You know that feeling when you've been away from your computer for three or four days and you get back and you have like 1500 emails waiting on you? Nah, me neither.

TRUE: I once had a white friend from South Africa, and when he filled out a form he would choose African-American in the blanks. But if he got caught he would have to change it.

I almost put this in my Thanksgiving post (the one I thought was funny as shit), but I figured that my guy wouldn't be in the fucking kitchen to start with...

Pop culture is one of the methods by which society has elected to kill itself.

Not one but TWO Star Wars kisses that I find interesting...

Without sleep, we become tall two year olds.

Had Cinderella gone back to pick up her shoe, she would never have become a princess.

This is one of the coolest things I have ever seen. I had no idea!

A daughter is a little girl that grows up to be a friend.

This was billed as a garage door stick-on picture...one of many. I think it is just some photoshop....

TRUE: A senator was on TV after his trip and said, "I visited Iraq and Afghanistan and Afghanistan is a whole nother country."

Okay....okay......this is either the most grotesque thing the world has ever invented or....OR....it's absolutely beautiful.

 I have to admit that I could hardly take my eyes off it.

Microwave: A hand gesture used by a midget to say hello.

Check out this illusion....

You're not drunk until you have to grab onto the grass to keep from falling off the earth.

This is one of the very first funny images I sent out when I was doing daily emails. It still makes me smile...

Sarcasm is my default mode.

What if air is actually poisonous, and it just takes 80 years to kill us.

This is absolutely factual...right off the BBC web page....

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce two of the coolest motherfuckers on the planet....AND they are talking about the third....

I'm getting some mixed signals here...is it just me?

My wife has so much clit that she don't need no balls.

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

When smiles just seem....I don't know.....tacky?

Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it and walk away proud.

I'm like this. I don't like it when he colored it all in.

But I will tell you that I'm so fucking tired of artists being hired by a shopping district to entertain the tourist. 

Some people's happiness is very expensive.

This, gentle readers, is street art at it's best.

My wife sent me this that she got from one of her Facebook friends....

EVERY DAY, THOUSANDS OF INNOCENT PLANTS ARE MURDERED BY VEGETARIANS.


HELP END THE VIOLENCE.

TOONS TO AMUSE....

Two of my very own...

 I didn't make the last one up. It's an old joke, but when I saw that mouth....well, I couldn't help it.

So, I offer another more on the weird side...

WOMEN WHO NEED TO REFRESH THEIR BUSINESS END, BUT STILL LOOK LIKE SLUTS, BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...