FOLIO OLIO: PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT

I am a people person....which means I like to observe people and make fun of them.

Balance.....yeah, she needs all the balance she can fucking get....now get off your ass and do something...

There, that's better....

I'd rather laugh with sinners than cry with saints.

Speaking of things that men are biologically unable to ignore....

(and if you wear tops like the above....thanks Ladies)

Britney Spears is an anagram for Presbyterians.

Just how high can a pain threshold get?!?!?

Which animal do you think produces the best tasting shit?

Speaking of women's bodies....these people have more or less the same bones....

I find that amazing. But remember, for every woman there is a man. I've seen this shit first hand.

I regret that American women are so vulnerable to Madison Avenue. Ya'll need to let that shit go.

What if homosexuality is an evolutionary mechanism to prevent overpopulation?

So, right here in the middle of this silliness, I offer you this....

I'm not sure if my dog really loves me or if he just has Stockholm Syndrome. That would explain his drinking problem.
(and, Bruce, don't go there again...please)

It seems to me that a camera completely deletes all sense of fear.
Example 1:

Example 2:

I RSVP "no" to all funerals.....and I mean that.

This lady was injected with Fix-a-Flat....I'll say it again....GIVE IT UP LADIES!!!

Dear America,
Grow up. It's just coffee. You embarrass me.
Sincerely,
Normal people

Here's just another reason I don't ride subways. He (she?) sits down beside you....what do you do? I would strongly advise diverting your gaze....

"So, what are your motivations?" asked the job interviewer.
"Just give me money and I'll do shit for you."
(slam fucking dunk!)

Some people need much more attention than the rest of us. This young man looks like he needs a big neon sign over his head that flashes NOTICE ME.....

My wife's Facebook marital status said she was "iffy".
(well, I guess I need to learn how to decode that Rubik Cube clitoris........AGAIN!)

This may look like an example of NOTICE ME, but then you have to think about it. If you must mow that dirt patch you have your trailer parked on in 103 degree heat, then you need one of these....with a beer holder....

An alcoholic is anyone you don't like, who drinks as much as you do.

I used to have tubes of mustache "wax" to twirl my handlebar. I did it to keep that bad boy out of my mouth when I ate. This young man's motivation is a horse of a whole nother color...

(by the way, mustache wax is just concentrated soap)

TRUE: The federal government has just decided to allow us to eat horse meat.
Now, let's stop a minute and discuss this.
Someone, at some time, at some place had an idea to draw a line and place animals we CAN eat on one side and the animals we CAN NOT eat on the other. Why?
Why is it okay to eat a cow, but not okay to eat a horse? Where is the logic? What is the motivation? I just don't get it.
Then there is this TRUE news tidbit. A man videotaped himself feeding a kitten to his boa constrictor and is now being sought by the authorities. But.....BUT, this same man is allowed to feed as many mice to the snake as he likes without punishment. Who the fuck decided that?
I could go on. I can grow my own tobacco in my back yard and roll it in paper and smoke it, but I can not grow marijuana and do the same. What George Fucking Orwell kind of place are we living in?
So let's bring this observation home. I love dogs. I like the way they will, seemingly gladly, sacrifice their lives to protect me and mine. I like the way they obey....I mean play. I like that they are just about the best alarm system in the world. But if my neighbor wants to eat his dog, whose fucking business is it? I might puke at the very thought, but that's not really the argument, is it?

I can't let this "Who decides shit" thing go. I watched a very interesting documentary on, of all things, plumbing. It seems that early in this century two inventionss reached maturity at the same time: Indoor plumbing and radio. And the connection is, to me, fascinating. You see, somebody had to pay for the shows presented on the radio and the majority of the advertisers were soap companies. Couple that with almost everyone now having indoor plumbing for the first time and an idea was born......convince people that they MUST take a bath every fucking day...even though they had never before done such a thing.
Well, now there are hundreds of millions of Americans who think taking a shower every day is a cultural imperative. A mandate that must not be broken. A sign that you are a true American.
But the real reason was some jerk off wanting to sell more fucking soap.
Feel manipulated yet?
I know I may bore you from time to time with my questioning of how things came to be, but I have made it my life goal never to do anything just because "that's the way it's always been done". I call it my lemming defense.

Speaking of NOTICE ME....

Did you ever pick your teeth up off the floor with broken fingers?

Do you think that those young ego-centric waifs consider this....

I never let my children watch symphonies or big bands.
Too much sax and violins.
It only leads to treble.

Some times I think black fashion is just a "NOT WHITE" way to dress one's self with no regard to logic....

I once was doing some home renovations and knocked down a wall only to find a secret, fully furnished room.
And then I remembered I lived in a duplex.

But sometimes, white people adopt the NOT WHITE look.....with an interesting twist....

Creativity takes courage.
Henri Matisse
(one of my favorite artists)
I think he also said, The problem with being poor is that it takes all your time.

The asians, OF COURSE, are much more sophisticated about the whole waddle around with you pants too low things....

Americans try it, but it just isn't the same...

Laughter may be the best medicine, but if you are laughing for no reason, you need medicine.

Then there are people who learn how to use Photoshop, and this kind of shit is the BEST idea they can come up with....

I like this one. I like the idea of bad people being caught in a crossfire of my gun and the other side of their skull.

You never hear anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo it."
Just saying.

Politics....interesting...

I'm going to leave these next two without comment. But do take a close look....

Judge to prostitute: When did you realize that you were raped?
Prostitute (wiping away tears): When the check bounced.

Alcohol makes people do some very stupid things, but it never really costs me anything.

(notice that the table legs look like they have been abused before)

There, their, and they're. Get it right your in college.

I do have a problem with people who make very, very bad decisions and I have to pay them some of my money as if it is some kind of weird reward.

I have high self-esteem. Every person wants high self-esteem. But do people who make (almost deliberately) very, very bad decisions deserve high self-esteem?

Please remember that I taught young children for 20 years and within the last 5 or so of those years, the number one goal we had was to maintain the children's high self-esteem.
What's up with that? Isn't the only way to gain REAL self-esteem is to EARN it?

There is something wrong people. We need to get together and work this out. A whole bunch of us (via the government taking 1/3+ of my earned money) give our money to people who have made bad decisions. What the fuck do you think that's doing to my self-esteem?

If you rub two red headed kids together you can make fire.

Speaking of bad decisions on a lighter note....

Speaking of....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHHHAHAAAAHHH!!!

I do a pretty good impression of a hot dog if I hunch my shoulders and pour chili over my head.

This man maintains a relatively high standard of living...

And this is the complete production line of a toilet paper factory in China.

Salvaged copy paper comes in one door, it is processed into pulp, dried into tissue, rolled on the tube, cut into individual rolls, placed in plastic bags and secured on a pallet.......200 pallets a day.....7 days a week....and they live upstairs....all of them.....one family.

There's a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are harder to find.

And then there's this Ah Shit moment....

When I'm not sleeping, I spend most of my time wishing I were sleeping.

Just a couple of Nazi kids playing Let's Kill the Jew....

I used to think I'd need six good friends so I'd have enough pallbearers. Now it looks like I'll have to get cremated.

These young men are going to go far. You think they need some start up capital?

The bible is a place where gays aren't natural, but a talking snake is.
(please think about that seriously)
Did I offend you? Oh, wait............I don't give a shit.

I posted the guy in the photo several weeks ago.

Now the girl....