About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

THURSDAY


I have owned two bars and this image illustrates the worst part of the job....


I'm fascinated by stuff like this....


It never occurred to me....

I, personally, do not hold that against the old man....whose business is it anyway. You don't want multiple wives? Don't have multiple wives....period.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!

Mongolia - 1913; woman condemned to starve to death.
....what the fuck do you think she did to deserve that?

Redneck camper....on the cheap....


And what, pray tell, do you supposed the titles are?


In the 'Places I Will Never Visit' department....

Something I didn't know....
 But if you believe the bible, the prohibition is pretty cut and dried....


You are never too old to learn a new pick-up line...
That zany barbarian.

A sign posted around a neighborhood...

For research purposes only, I watch a lot of porn, and I'm getting rather disgusted with the amount of violence...fake or no I don't like it.
Well, I guess I should double down on my research.



Want your day ruined? Read on.
The massive Three Gorges Damn in China cost 25 billion dollars.
Now let's suppose you won $1000 at Vegas and tipped $25. People would consider you a cheapscape. 
But 25 is to 1000 what 25 billion is to a trillion and we (you and I...personally) owe 15 trillion dollars; therefore the cost of the TGD is less than a decent tip on that 15 large.

This is called two for the price of one ignorance...
That's just fucking hilarious!


WTF of the day.....
 No, kid, that's not.

Picking up chicks....literally...


"Make sure nobody filmed that.....ah, fuck!"


This just isn't my day...it could be raining titties and I'd get hit in the head with a dick.

My wife once loaned a man a thousand dollars with the stipulation that he pay her back when he could afford it. I remember her disgust when he saw him drunk in a bar; if he could afford to drink, he could afford to make a payment.
I feel that way about people who I give my money (taxes) to. I don't want to be cruel, but if you can't afford to even buy your own food (like, the most basic requirement of maturity) then what the fuck are you doing with a cellphone, big TV, $100 sneakers, etc? 
And then there's this...
Why in the world is this allowed to happen? As I understand it, tobacco and alcohol are already excluded, so why not bullshit royalty rated food? If you are hungry, I will buy you vegetables and such, but I'll be damn if a motherfucker who can't even feed him(her)self and/or their babies should eat better than I eat.
(and please don't anyone comment that we waste money on banks, oil companies, arms manufacturers and shit like that. I've posted opinions about those pricks already)


I find it very, very difficult to listen to a joke by people who know nothing about telling jokes....
Upon recommendation from my most trusted advisor, I watched a French film..."Ridicule", about the court of some french king and the ultra importance of "wit". The star, who was, indeed, a real wit, was asked to make the king the subject of his wit and he said, "The king is not a subject."
I thought it very clever.


As a father of two girls, shit like this really pisses me off...


ONE OF MY VERY OWN....


Striking....
Form follow function just won't cut it anymore.


Remarriage is the triumph of hope over experience.


Some new creative homeless signs...

I hope that's not the hand he would use to fling shit at zoo visitors.


Nice, but look at the expression on the dog's face...


When you get old you get to lean over to obnoxious, loud young girls at a bar and say, "I don't know if you know this, but your boobs go inside your shirt."

This man is now dead.


When I was ready to stretch my students' imagination I would tell them that today we are going to visit Goofyland, and they would squeal with delight.


I once named my dog Stay, and all day I would say, "Come, Stay". He's insane now.



We judge people for judging people because judging people is wrong.


Rifle range target w/hoodie.....just sayin'.....

Something you don't see everyday....
What if it drinks gallons of water laced with chlorine?


I'm very good at taking my sock off with my other foot.


Saw this the other day followed by comments from hundreds of people who didn't get it....
I'm not sure about the 30,000 years, but I know photons bounce around inside the sun for a very long time before they finally escape to spread out across the universe.


Question: Do you think this was a real truck that was filigreed or an object built to look like a truck....anyone?


2012 Miss Ladyboy beauty contest in Thailand...that is all..


I think the only reason children should be taught cursive is so they can forge their mother's signature.


So, this is what it's come to....


This reminds me of the absurdity of remaining absolutely quiet on a golf course where pros are playing and the action in the basketball stands when a nineteen year old is going for a free throw to win the championship....


Just Jimi and Janice hangin' out....just telling amusing stories about the awesome salads at Appleby's....


I'm sorry if you do not find this next one as fucking hilarious as I did. I must have watched it a dozen times and laughed harder each time....
Supposedly this was an overheard comment in a high school hallway...




Yes, he has porn and a female "witness"...
But what the fuck is the sewing machine about? That's waaaay too kinky for me, even in my youth.




I wonder if this is a statement about the lowering of the aquifer?


Goddamn that looks lethal!!!


MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!


Speaking of.....


Speaking of....


I would bet even money right now that my daughter did not, in fact, read it wrong.


This is one of the bars I hang out in. It is 100 years old and still looks exactly like this. It's called Jaco's and, of course, I have a TRUE story to tell about it.
Once when my wife was out of town and I was starving, I went to Jaco's to find the owner away and a woman behind the bar that I didn't know. I asked for a chili burger with nothing on it but chili and could I get it with the top bun off and a knife and fork. She looked me right in the eyes and said, "Where the fuck you think you're at...Hilton fucking Head?" Then brought me a regular chili burger.


The original video of this showed a car drive in (raising the bar), then along came the pedestrian. It was not staged...
Still trying to figure out is it's a he or a she.


Shit you don't see every fucking day....



AND THEN THERE'S THIS:
When I post a statement about...well, anything...I am opining from the viewpoint of an American. I don't even know a Thai or a Laotian or a Greek, so when I use the pronoun "we" I refer to "us" Americans. I do not speak for the world...I opine about my experiences of being American.
Thank you for your understanding.

2 comments:

the boy said...

about the food stamps. i think we can all agree it is ridiculous for us to foot the bill for others to live high on the hog without putting in any work. but to that, we all know one other fact of life, there will always be lazy fuckers. the kinds of people that no matter what you do or what anybody else does they are just not going to work. so with that in mind its time for food stamp and welfare reform.

easiest solution to our food stamp issue is to immediately discontinue food stamps from being allowed at restaurants, gas stations, and other locations. food stamps then are allowed to be used at the grocery store only and you can only use the stamps of food certified by the EBT office. then we encourage the food stampers to buy healthy foods only. leaner meat products, fresh veggies, no processed foods. we know for a fact eating better translates into feeling better. now that is not to say every person who takes this new path of food stampery will eat right thus feel better and be motivated to get a job, but i would guarantee you that we would see a slight change. thats just my idea for the food stamps, we are always going to have them, we just need to make sure they be used right, and not in abundance

MIKE HARRIS said...

Regarding wit in the court of Louis xvi. He was also told 'NEVER laugh at your own jokes'. This is advice which applies to so many....

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