ADVENTURER’S LOG: EARTH CYCLE 16 - MONDAY #1700

RAWLIN, WYOMING

Has one of 324 saloons in Wyoming where Billy the Kid was shot dead.

Last night in Ogden, we decided to grab a bite to eat in the motel restaurant. They only had assorted burgers and sandwiches: BLT, tuna, ham, roast beef, and...are you ready.....Chicken Alfredo. (????) That's their entire menu!

Their dinner special was....

Grilled cheese sandwich. Your special of the day. That should have told us something right away. I ordered the tuna (thinking who the fuck could screw up a tuna fish sandwich) and because the Mexican wedding reception in the basement was bone-jarring loud, I opted to eat in the room. When I opened the box I found the oversized bread toasted brick-hard and the tuna fish sporting a massive slice of melted yellow cheese. (Abby, my favorite bartender, will know what that cheese did to the remainder of my evening.)

But that's not the funny part. The funny part is that to remind me of the details, I stole a laminated menu from our room and took it to the room we are now in. I laid it out on the table and when my wife saw it, she gasped, "Goddamn! This place has the exact same menu as the place last night!!!!" I let it slide. Then I suggested that we visit the motel's Bar and Grill for dinner and she said, "What for? We already know it's awful." I then told her what I had done and she didn't think it near as funny as I did.

(the real reason I stole the menu was so I would spell Chicken Alfredo correctly)

Saw this this morning next to the motel parking lot.

I once knew a man who looked for a decade for a chrome headlight rim for an old GTO. This thing should be kept indoors.

Back on the interstate today. Some cool stuff to see whizzing by a 80mph, but it's just not the same as backroads. For one thing, when you see something you may want to tag or even photograph, by the time your foot can even hit the brake pedal you are 100 yards down the road. Bummer, that.

I never realized there were so many of these out west.

 Drove right over it and it was much flatter than I had expected. I thought it would be a mountain peak..

Humorous trucks help break the monotony...

Many, many times the railroad, highway and river all snake down a valley with the exact same shape. I know why, but it's still cool...

There are many landscapes that are alien to me; always a crowd pleaser...

GREAT DISAPPOINTMENTS ARE BORN

OF GREAT EXPECTATIONS

Then my wife read about the Red Desert in Wyoming. Google said that at 9000 sq. miles of moving dunes, it was second in size only to the Sahara Desert.
Well, that seemed worth the side trip.
Of course, you know what I was expecting...

Before the turn off, this was the landscape out the right side of the truck. My skepticism grew...

We stopped at a store and asked about the Red Desert. We were told to be careful for the next hundred miles because the place was overrun with wild horse and Prone Horn Antelope and they have been known to stampede down the interstate. As evidence of this, the interstate was lined not just with just fencing, but fencing with added slats so, I assume, the animals can see them...

We took the exit and immediately saw this not 20 feet from the road...

So off we go to see the "moving dunes"....

 ....and we drove....

 .....and we drove.

My secondary reason for leaving the interstate was to find something to tag. You may have noticed that the road through the "moving dunes" had no fencing, posts, signs....nothing.
Then I saw this....

 And tagged it "Knife Number 130"...

 In case you want to find it, take the Red Desert road and look for this...

...or use this...

 My take on the dunes is that they, in fact, do move, but so slowly that the vegetation has time to grow on it.

TODAY'S BUSHWA:

The Wifi signal is very weak here. My wife can't even get on line at all. She accused me, with my more powerful computer, of sucking all the Wifi signal out of the air, leaving none for her.....and that, Gentle Reader, is true.

I've been looking at a lot of mountains, and I remember something I heard about the Egyptian pyramids. If you pour sand (or salt) through a small hole, the resulting pile is consistently at the same angle. That angle is steep, but shallow enough that it is stable. I assume mountains follow the same rule. As I understand it, the pyramids are built on this angle.

Saw a large billboard that read: Who is Jesus? Right next to it was a sign informing us of Information at the next exit. My wife suggested we go to the information center and ask, "Who is Jesus." And I said, "My Mexican gardener."

Does everyone else feel compelled to buy something when you stop just to pee? Well, I do. Today I laid the three items on the counter and the lady scanned one, then two, but the third would not scan and it's little electronic voice said, "Uh-oh." I found it mesmerizing and made her do it again and again.

I've been giving much thought about our "Fossil Fiasco", as it will forever be called. I think Miss Garmin freaked when she simply didn't recognize that we were on a road. With no reference she just told us to go north until we ran into a road she did recognize.

There is a plethora of road construction, and I figure it's because they have to all repairs in the summer, sans snow.

Last night in Utah there was a TV commercial for a shirt, pants, tie, suit, socks, shoes and belt and it was called "A Missionary Starter Kit"......true as shit. My wife thought it so funny that she went on line and found their website and said, "You would think they would sell helmets."

One of her Facebook friends said they ought to be called "Holy Rollers."

I was in a bar that had the rubber machine in the women's restroom hooked up to a police siren and huge rotating red lights.

How fucking true...

Chastity belt?

Last night on the TV show about pickers, they met a man who said, "I was a funeral director for 52 years. It was a lot of fun."

I think everybody should learn one sentence in every language: "I know what you're saying about me and I don't appreciate it."


Well, he should know...

The best time to waste time is when you don't have any.


We all know this was coming, didn't we...

So what's next? Facial recognition to mail littering tickets to pedestrians? Jaywalkers? People who smuggle snacks into movie theaters?
When will all rise as one and scream ENOUGH!

If you don't know anything about baseball, trust me, this is why people watch baseball...

Guns: Without them we would be British.

In my opinion, when you look sublime up in the dictionary, this is the picture you will see.

But there is something perplexing about it. Look at it carefully and I will discuss it later.

Water into wine? Ha! I can turn wine into urine.

You people with kids, let me know if this works...

My newest friend, Max, and his best friend...

Back to the cave painting. How did they do the overlap to come out like that? If I tried it with spray paint, I don't think I could get it to turn out that way.

The second layer spray would cover up the first hand.

Speaking of...

Do these Uggs make my Starbucks look fat?

My wife hits me in the face at least once a night, then when I get upset she says she was just trying to pull the blankets up and her hand slipped.

If I ever wanted to end it all, I think I would take drugs, go to sleep and never wake up...

I heard of a woman who set her water heater to max, then got in the tub and turned on the hot water and literally cooked herself to death...and that's true.