WHAT INSTRUCTIONS WOULD THE PHOTOGRAPHER GIVE TO THESE MODELS?

I have photographed many models...both professional and otherwise, and my instructions were usually:

Look at your reflection in the lens...

Point your nose at my finger...

Chin up...

Try not to squint...

Take a deep breath...you look too tense...

Well, let's have some fun.

This type of shot didn't make the cut because you can talk a drunk girl into doing just about anything...

So, let's see how the pros fared...

"Okay, the beads are perfect, now look like you do this every day and try not to laugh....again."

"Now give me the 'I see my ex with my best friend' look."

"Now give me a look that says 'I'm holding the piece of shit I got off my shoe and it hurts my nose' look."

Her: "SWEEP? You dressed me in this fucking outfit and you want me to fucking SWEEP?! WITH A FUCKING BROOM?!"

"Perfect, honey! Now hold that while I change film."

"Now look like you hold one of those all the time."

Her: "I have no idea what an 'Amish whore look' is."

"Splinters sminters. Rub some dirt on them later, you're a professional."

"Stop laughing! And suck in that lasagne you had for lunch."

"Quit your bitching. For $1000 an hour you put your foot where I tell you to put your foot."