MONDAY #1864

My Packers are out of the playoffs, so, more or less, life is not worth living anymore. 


Shit that bothers me...

Within a twenty minute period, I heard two medical doctors on TV tell me: 
A) 20% of your body heat escapes out of your head. 
B) 10% of your body heat escapes out of your head.
Most people think, "Well, they only missed it by 10%!"
No, the mistake is 100% one way or the other.
My question is, how the fuck hard is it to measure this shit and shouldn't they have nailed it in about the 1950's?

Brace yourself...the winter Olympics are coming...

A Super-Soaker in the cold...

A marijuana store in Colorado on opening day of sales...

Warnings that come with each purchase...

Ants kill 25 people a year; thus marijuana is safer than ANTS!

But it’s a gateway drug…yeah, a gateway to the fucking fridge.

Mt. Etna....another oft used crossword word...

Trapped Climate Scientists Discover Helicopters Are Faster Than Global Warming

 So, if cold weather was your biggest problem lately, consider the next two items.

Al Nusra is basically just Al Qaeda but in Syria

My young bartender came up with a stellar idea. He said that people like him ought to be able to sign up and start making payments for a liver transplant now to get on the list for the inevitable.

Interesting images from NASA...

Do twins have identical dicks?

Self-Stabilizing camera...

 These protestors hold mirrors so the storm troopers can see what they look like...

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change it and the other to hold the penis.
LADDER!
I MEANT LADDER!

I watch porn when I fold laundry.

OOMVO...

This confessional has loud speakers so everyone can hear...

My New Year's resolution is to never get on a scale again.

 I went to see "Gravity" on the big screen in 3D. It was long on thrills and very, very short on science. I just looked away and shook my head at the stupidity on more than one occasion.

 Family lore stated that when growing up, my grandfather would eat a cockroach for money, and that is what passes as a point of pride in my family.

Speaking of...

If you want to hold a family meeting, just turn off the wifi and wait in the room where the router is kept.

DOG FOOD LID backwards is DILDO OF GOD.

You think they "got" it?

Why do people always teach Polly to ask for a cracker in the third person?

 (if you're interested)

Guy painted tree to create this illusion...

Burrrrrr...

Looks real, don't it...

 It's South Korean soldiers dressed like North Korean soldiers to make a film.

SYDSE,,,

This is how a steam engine works... 

I find it interesting that even after all this time, we still use steam to generate power. The coal, natural gas, nuclear, etc just heats the water.

 No characters were harmed in the making of this cartoon...

Why the fuck do Americans venerate their Constitution like it’s some kind of sacred object?

Nitrogen can improve plant growth in salt marshes, but it usually kills salt marshes, which is unfortunate because people won’t stop shitting or farming.

Wouldn't you like to know the evolutionary need for such an adaptation?

 Speaking of...

A bunch of rich British dudes were making bank off smuggling opium into China, and so were the rich British dudes they were electing into Parliament, so when China’s government tried to detox they got the navy to fuck shit up. Twice.

???

Said to be painting with real model. Could that be?

Looking for a reason to give up on humanity? Study climate change. That shit isn’t changing back.

Very effective political commentary...

Ever wonder what would happen if a young woman with gold paint all over her body rode a bike? I have.

Well, it leaves its mark...

 Speaking of...

The Cold War sucked for people who weren’t straight white men.

Summoning the omnipotent demon Lord of Darkness just became an app.

Talk about your mixed emotions...

Medieval knights pretended to be in love with pretty women, but in actual fact were far more interested in impressing other burly dudes in big shiny suits of armor.