MONDAY #1894

Had to give my dog away...

For several weeks I will either be on the damn walker or on a cane. I just couldn't take the chance that he would fuck me up again. Anyway, the little girl asked if a person could marry a dog cause she wanted to marry Tucker. I told my wife that the little girl ought to be told that we don't know which Pet Cemetery the dog had been dug up from, but he almost killed a man only days before. My wife thought that was too harsh.

THE OLYMPICS

This is Putin's Olympics...

He is "Putin on the Ritz".
It was broadcast that he "helped" with the music and costumes for the opening ceremony.

We have all seen images of the unfinished buildings, etc...

 But there are serious concerns as to when the images were taken...

 Several images have been publicly debunked, therefore I regard the whole collection as suspect...

 I do believe that many of the buildings were overrun with feral cats and dogs...a problem easily remedied...

 I would not doubt that some of the water was cloudy...a common problem with huge new construction. Once the system gets thoroughly flushed, that problem should solve itself...

 They made a big deal about missing manhole covers, but in America we have thousands of them stolen by people for the cost of the metal alone...

 This has been too widely covered by the media not to be true...

Notice that the shower head is a camera...

 Appropriate for this story that I don't know if true or not...

But, by far, this is my favorite story...

And there it was...for the whole world to see...
Ladies and gentleman, I present....INCOMPETENCE!!!

But the Russian people did not see that...

The state media "fixed" it in post-production.

The rest of the internet seems delighted with the fuck up also...

 Someone even found this obscure image that I would have bet money didn't exist...

And, of course, there are always people wanting to make money off of any misfortune...

On...off...on again....

 DAMN!

I knew a guy in high school who had sex with his older sister all the time. I was thinking about him the other day and wondered what percentage of siblings fuck one another. I looked for a long time and could only find that about 30-40 % of incest cases are brother/sister. But it turns out that, even though no one wants to talk about it, about 15% of all siblings dip their wick in the homemade marmalade.

Can you figure out what's "odd" about these images?

You can’t hang yourself in outer space.

One of those places that everyone wants to see and no one wants to see again” is how Nadar described the catacombs.

 OOMVO...

I hate when I click a porn video and I can see myself in

the screen while it's loading.

This is what passes for flower girls in the South...

Some more Sochi stuff...

I don't know why people are so surprised at the athlete living conditions. When you ban gays from your town, your interior decorating is going to suffer.

"The green, green dirt of home..."

You would think that Russia would be accepting of homosexuality, considering that their Red Square looks like an even gayer Disneyland.

You think Dr. Dolittle has a cousin named Dr. Donothing?

Any salad is a Caesar Salad if you stab it enough.

If you nearly hit something, why is it called a near miss?

Men, if you can't control your woman, then you have found a good one.

See that metal milk container on the porch? I brought one home from Germany. Had a large caliber bullet hole through it. And remember, I was in Germany only 20 years after WWII. Think of it this way...it's already been 13 years after Gulf War One...which feels like yesterday.

Been accused of taking words out of context...

But when they do it, it's just fine....

One day a monkey looked up at the sun and told his friend, "He just told me to tell you to give me your share."

Can't remember if I posted a new study or not, so I will repeat it...

They did all this DNA test and carbon dating and found that camel's were not even domesticated in the Middle East at the time the bible tells us of their use, proving that it was written by a people of one period who had no idea what was going on a few generations prior.

Do you know what it takes in America before you can label a product "Natural"?........Ink. You can (and they have) put the natural label on every kind of processed food there is.

OOMVO...

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...

I found it interesting that Obama is now touting a "new" retirement plan that will allow people to invest in the stock market. When George Bush tried that he was drug over the coals.
So I asked my #1 advisor about it.....

No one has mentioned that you can accomplish the same result as MyIRA now by opening an account with the Treasury thruTreasuryDirect.gov and setting up an electronic transfer from your employer's' payroll system to the Treasury to buy US Savings Bonds. The details are right here on the Treasury's website:

 https://www.treasurydirect.gov/indiv/products/prod_tdpayrollinfo.htm 

This is the successor to the 'Payroll Savings Plan' that the Treasury retired in the early 1990s. As with MyIRA, you invest in US treasury securities, the money is guaranteed not to lose value, and it is tax-advantaged (you are taxed at withdraw only on the interest accrued, and the interest is free of city and state income taxes). The fact that the president is enacting a plan that is a copy of one that exists already, and the press is not reporting it as such, leads me to believe that there is some ulterior motive at work here.

The difference being, of course, that MyIRA funds will probably be invested in the stock market to make up for the Federal Reserve tapering their gravy train.