FRIDAY #2028

It was very predictable that a soccer player biting another soccer player would have legs on the internet...

 ...but this is just insane...

HALF THE WHOLE WORLD WATCHED IT LIVE!!!
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As previously posted, the ridicule of England is merciless...

Then there's this silliness...

I don't get some of those. I guess it's regional humor...or humour as you people say.
100% of the facts on the internet are on the internet.
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Insane people make the world a very dangerous place...

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Meat-heavy "paleo diets" have been all the rage in recent years. But if you really want to eat like a caveman, you may have to eat more veggies than you might have expected. A new study suggests that Neanderthals consumed way more vegetables than scientists once thought -- and the evidence for that finding came from a pretty unexpected place: ancient poop.

Just a gate?

 I think not.

If you are nice to an animal it will love you for life.

If you are nice to a person, who the fuck knows what’s going to happen.

 This photo does not exactly document it, but when I was in the Air Force in Germany, there was such a thing as a Turkey Shoot, whereby the US would scramble a whole bunch of airplanes and fly straight at the border. The Soviets would scramble their interceptors to repel the "attack" and at the last minute the US jets would turn around. The Soviets used the same ploy to determine which bases would be used to repel attacks.

Sugar cubes made from 3D printer...

I'm assuming the "ink" cartridge was some sort of sugar.

My wife is rooting for Brazil in the World Cup because she once had a wig made from a Brazilian girl’s hair.

It seems weird that Darth Vader had to tell Boba Fett "No disintegrations."

When you get right down to it, an unhinged Ferris Wheel is just a windmill full of corpses.

What's the best joke you know that doesn't involve muffins?

Well, at least they have helmets...

My two neighbors; one a Phillies fan, the other a New York fan...

These are very nice people. Everyone should have neighbors like them.

Went to the store the other day and accidentally bought some anti-aging lotion. At first I was upset, but my right hand and my dick never looked younger.

There is a hot 3 minute YouTube clip of a man telling you that you probably won't watch the whole thing. I didn't.

Flintstones at the Grand Canyon...

There's not that many geology jokes out there, folks, so enjoy it.

I'm home alone with a beautiful female electrician sent to replace a light switch. I'm no fool. There are only two possible outcomes of this scenario...porn or murder. 

Apparently there was a third unforeseen outcome where she fixes the switch, hands me the bill, and then leaves.

And the award to the most fuckthatshit job goes to...

Former Survivor contestant Caleb Bankston has died in a train accident at age 26, putting him in last place.

 I stole that from my friend, Kent, who coined it sitting on a barstool next to me.

One Of My Very Own...

The Febreeze commercial should test their product in the room of a teenager who just smoked pot and his parents come home and are headed to his room. That's when you really need a room to smell like wildflower, rain or nectar.

Ladies, have you ever considered finding another hobby besides taking pictures of yourself?

Already regret the item I'm about to post.

OOMVO...

So I was sitting on the side of the road with my hazard lights on and this guy comes up and asked if I was out of gas. That was his first question! His first assumption was that because I am old I must have forgotten to buy gas! I was out of gas, but that's not the point.

Photography...

...and my favorite...

I once woke up at 3am to find a kid crying and covered in vomit. Had to clean him, his clothes and the bed. And they said I wouldn't learn anything being in a fraternity.

One man's pain is another man's pleasure....buttsex.

 I find the smile perplexing.

This is the kind of thing that I find laugh out loud hilarious...

It was stated that these people don't even THINK about sex...

Why it sucked to be a short thief...

Never seen any black people on a ski slope, which is confusing to me because I know a lot of black guys who own ski masks.

Ouch!

If you are going to be single at your age, shouldn’t the government supply you with cats?

Who would of thought...

10th January 1978: The Sex Pistols at the Longhorn Ballroom.

 Why biped robots?

 The design works. Mobility plus hands free for manipulation.

From a huge collection called "Earth Patterns"...

 As I understand it, irrigating the desert from aquifers has a drawback; after a while the evaporating water leaves enough salt in the soil to ruin it for...oh...ever.

I had a half German Shepard, half Collie when I was a boy. Any time my friends and I encountered older children, the dog would situate himself between us and them...

 When it came time for me to walk (yes, WALK) to school for the first grade, my mother said that she would have to chain the dog up to keep him from following me. So I trained the dog to stay within the confines of my yard on command, and when I walked home I would find him sitting at the property's edge until I called him to join me.

I really, really loved that dog.

"Never shoot a large caliber person with a small caliber weapon."

Words that men knew, but women didn't...

 Words that women knew, but men didn't...