THURSDAY #2027

SAN FRANCISCO -- In a city short on parking and flush with tech millionaires, a mobile application enabling motorists to auction off their public parking spaces to nearby drivers may have been inevitable. 

According to San Francisco's city attorney, it's also illegal. 

On Monday, the maker of the Monkey Parking app was issued a cease-and-desist order.

MORE SOCCER STUFF

First test successful of a tourist carrying balloon that goes up 20 miles to the edge of space...

It has a capsule tethered to a parachute that is tethered to the balloon. $75K per tourist.

This actually spooked me...

There are only two things I can't stand in this world:
People who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and
Russians. Fuck Russians.
(I shouldn't have to, but I will explain that)
I stole it from this...

I could have picked any country, you see, but what with the Crimea....well.


Seems only fair...

Netherlands voted “Swaffelen” as their word of the year in 2008. It means to repeatedly smack one’s penis against someone or something.

Powerful animals ads...

 You heard it here first, folks...

Being hard of hearing and watching everything with closed caption, I have seen this sort of thing often...

Fired with enough velocity, a ping pong ball will...

This guy is making super-strong rope from a plastic bottle...

(he's blessing a new TV station)

 My guess is that they wouldn't let him throw tap water on the equipment.

One Of My Very Own...

 69% of people find something sexy in everything...

Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is for you to breathe.

Define "Godless activities".....

The next time you do something stupid, think of this guy...

 Wanna bet?

 Speaking of.....when I was in Germany in the mid-60's there were plenty of these in circulation...

But remember, that was only 20 years after the war.

You know the economy is bad when...

There was a day when your parents put you down and never picked you up again.

DRINKING GAME: Take a shot every time you feel sad.

 This is me at any child's birthday party...

I have never completely finished watching an entire porn flick.

Those most enthusiastic about using up fossil fuels don’t actually believe in fossils. Interesting that.

 OOMVO...

Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.

This is not a magnifying glass...

 In the South we call them a "Dick Do", as in "His stomach sticks out farther than is dick do."

It’s hard to be optimistic when your fat pants are tight.

Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant – you can only hide it for so long.

I really regret not working on a short story or novel anymore. But like I've said, it was the hardest work I've ever done.

Stop thinking about what they want, what your parents want. What do you want?

Ladies, it’s okay to be a real human woman.

????

My wife finally tried vagina weights, now she can scrape the paint off a #2 pencil.

She begs to differ...

Photography...

A young friend used the phrase "African-American gentleman" three times in one short conversation. I laughed and said, "That's got to be the most PC way possible to tell that story."
He shrugged and said, "I work in an all black school."
We all nodded and mouthed, "Oooooh."

There is a huge difference between kismet and hazmat....know that difference.

I have no idea what these to images are about...

Good grief!

I often make To-do Listless.

A revisit to this unusual image...

AND THEN THERE ARE THESE OBSERVATIONS...
Not surprisingly, I spend a lot of time in bars today...what with World Cup and all. Several things happened that warranted jotting down to share, and here they are in no order of importance:
- I overheard two black guys arguing over which of their favorite Paula Dean recipe was the best....and you can't make shit like that up.
- The late afternoon games were so lopsided that I offered Honduras + the tie over Switzerland and took Ecuador + the tie over France. Somehow I won both bets to several fellows and...well, it was a good thing.
- Then more seriously, later in the day I found myself sitting with two racists one bar stool away. They looked like contractors, but it soon became evident that they hated blacks and Mexicans...but they never said the word nigger. I regret that. I think that the word should be less stigmatized so these fools can be more easily identified. Now all the racists do is use code words that are "safe", so they walk among us with immunity.
- At the beginning of the Nigeria/Algeria game four guys stood up and sang along with the Nigerian anthem. That's one of the perks of living in a university town. I didn't have a bet on the game, so I thought, what the hell, I'll cheer along with the Nigerian barmates. Well, it was a very nice experience, even though Nigeria lost. But after it was over they made me the king of Sokoto, a city in northeastern Nigeria and my new name was Pogba.
And those are my observations of the day.
(I made up the part about being a king...but the rest is true...I just couldn't help myself)