Unique (meaning I’ve never seen
it) crossword solutions:
_
_ U _ _ _
_
_
_
Down: ________ Frutti
Across: Eliza Doolittle
(I’ll give you a minute)
***********
I made this just to see how many people would get it...
Like I said, I just don't get it.
I suggest applying this rule to everything...
I've vowed that the next dog I get
will be the kind that doesn't have its butthole displayed too prominently.
I just want one spam email that's
like, "Congratulations! You have a perfect-sized penis."
Imitation is the sincerest form of
crabmeat.
Normally don't post about this asshole, but...
In porn, large breasted women home
alone order a LOT of pizza and never have money. They've lots to learn about
nutrition & cash management.
Do other people who own guns walk
around the house with them and pretend they're Black & Decker power drills?
Nothing more awkward than singing
happy birthday to a person whose name you don't know.
Not sure why, but I found that very funny.
List of things ain’t nobody got
time for:
1. That
We've all had days like that.
Congratulations! Now that you’ve
graduated you’re totally free to do whatever the hell your boss tells you to
do.
There’s nothing like a woman with
a brilliant mind and a filthy mouth.
A group of international
astronomers and astrobiologists have published new research that assesses the
possibility of complex life on other worlds. Their calculation in the Milky Way
alone is staggering: 100 million worlds in our home galaxy may harbor complex
alien life. One. Hundred. Million.
(but we alone are "special"?)
If they could've, they would've...
It’s a Jeep. If I wanted a Hummer
I’d call your sister.
OOMVO...
When American explorer Robert
Peary reached the North Pole in 1909, he wired President William Howard Taft to
let him know that he’d claimed the territory for the United States. Taft’s
response? “Thanks for your interesting and generous offer. I do not know
exactly what I could do with it.”
What are the odds...
Clap along if you feel like a room
without a roof.
Shit you don't see everyday...
“I’m not bitter,” she said
bitterly.
There is a recycling joke in here somewhere...
My favorite mythical creatures are
the happy girls in the Tampon commercials.
Those zany Japanese...
Oh, you bastard...
Have you ever spray painted your
penis just to see what it would look like another color?
When you were a kid did you wanted
a race car bed but your parents wouldn’t buy it for you? Well, now that you’ve
graduated with $100K student loan debt, you’ll be able to sleep in a REAL car.
One Of My Very Own...
I once masturbated to an image of
my own penis.
My wife wants me to buy a new toothbrush but I think my old one still has a little life in it...
Sometimes I sit and think.
Sometimes I just sit.
Well, I think we've found Suspect #1....
Energy conservation activists
would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
Get it?
The other side of the pillow is
cool because it smokes cigarettes.
Urban Photography...
If you are embarrassed to buy
condoms, you are not ready for sex.
Put me in the game, coach...
I miss being a kid and thinking
that the people in limos must actually be important.
Sometimes I imagine we've
forgotten our deaths and this is Hell and sometimes there's cake in the office
kitchen.
The two crossing crosswords from above were:
TUTTI and TUTEE.
I liked it.
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