MONDAY #2052

Probably the most exciting 4 minutes of my life presented in a way I've never seen...

Some great images of the event...

Then...

 Now...

 They probably just followed the smell.

I find it interesting that the later ones are better than the earlier ones...

A space probe aiming to become the first to land on a comet has taken images that appear to show its target could actually be two separate lumps of rock and ice.

 Can you imagine trying to get your spacecraft in sync with that spinning so that you could set her down? I mean, damn.

The world usually just makes me laugh.

Heaven is a place on earth...possibly Greece.

I like to think of myself less like an adult and more like a former fetus.

Where, sweet Jesus, are the editors...

Being well adjusted is so overrated.

Wait until somebody points out that Superman was an undocumented immigrant baby.

Photography...

I always keep a cauliflower in the fridge in case a vegetarian comes over.

Public art...

Knowing how I love stone, you know I like this...

This is a dead body that fell out the back of a coroner's van...and that shit is true...

I woke up just before winning the argument I was having with my wife in my dream.

I see the bad moon arising...

Six seconds are more than enough time to humiliate yourself.

This machine "eats" concrete...

Art that breaks the plane...

TIP FOR BUSINESSES TRYING TO ESTABLISH A SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCE: Mentioning your vagina seems to help.

Guy rolls up pieces of photos...

 ...and makes these...

I don't think you can call yourself an adult until you figure out how to use bleach in the laundry.

OOMVO...

What a gentleman...Serbia, I think...

Somehow or other we all have relatives in Wisconsin.

Not all bears shit in the woods...

We are all just adults in training.

All aboard the Nopetrain…

People ask for advice to hear what they wished they didn’t know already.

Rugby handshakes...

Regret piles up around us like books unread.

I like my first beer WITH my second beer.

Sometimes, late at night, I stare out the window at the stars and think about all the airlines that have pissed me off.

Are king sized sheets called presidential sized in Europe?

I think I've posted this before, but damn....

Arthur Tress asked children to describe their nightmares. He then immortalized them into photographs...

We all need one of these...

What could be more embarrassing than this photo?

This painting... 

Now THIS is what a call a well-balanced meal...

I wish my wife would wear sluttier outfits. She’s going to a bar, not a guest star on Breaking Amish.

One Of My Very Own...

Here’s to all the people who remain unharmed because I have alcohol and a sense of humor.

This is true...

Big city "fun"...

Absolute WORST pick up line...

It's called a moray pattern and it's pretty cool...

There are many of these tiny little additions to cities. I like them...

Watching the Tour de France at my bar. Bartender asked how long it was. I said I didn't know. She then asked, "I mean, is it one thousand miles or five thousand miles?"

I said, "Boy, that sounds like an over/under bet to me." I thought but a second or two and said, "The over/under is 2000 miles. Which do you want?" She took under. Another patron Googled it and discovered it was 2200...I won.

But that's not the point. The point is I am very, very good at coming up with over/under bets....I ONLY MISSED IT BY 200 MILES!

Clever...

I'm working on a theme post of why women make less money than men. This photo is a hint as to my conclusions...

 Anchovies looking like an oil spill...

Watched a documentary about Neanderthal bones found in a cave. They soon treated it as a crime scene and after extreme analysis they made some deductions. 
The bodies of three children, two female adults and three male adults had been cannibalized.
The three males were all blood related. The two females were from another tribe. The children were mixed.
This confirmed modern observation that male members stayed with their tribes and females were sold or traded or whatever to other tribes....evidence that they knew the dangers of inbreeding.
Further, if tribes become too separated - as did the Neanderthals - there was no way to acquire women and the whole species would die off.
The reason I'm telling you this is that they showed the exact spot that a man sat and ate his dead family members until he was, perhaps, the very last Neanderthal. 

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
North Korea is very angry over this viral Chinese music video mocking Kim Jong-Un...and for good reason...
(give it a minute or so...)