WEDNESDAY #2040

Me on my favorite barstool...

 I like to sit there because I'm deaf in my left ear and I have a corner in which to prop my cane. Tuesday night I sat on that very barstool and watched the most embarrassing World Cup game I could ever imagine watching....and made some observations.
  I wonder how many Brazilian women will get beaten because their men were frustrated and/or embarrassed?
  I noticed that there were zero (0!!!!) seconds of writhing time on either team. What the fuck is that all about?
  I did meet a new young friend...a lad who has recently switched majors from law to science. Bright kid. Lots of good ideas. With that alone I will call the evening a win for me.
  Now, with Brazil out of the World Cup, I wonder how many more protesters of the expenditures will die. It could get very, very ugly.
And within minutes of the rape, here are the emails that filled my inbox...

I can only assume that those won't be the last posts I get....promise to share the best. Now, mercifully, let's move on.

Anybody out there a pilot?

This just seems a little over-confusing to me. That taxiing (?) airliner almost causing a crash with a landing plane that I posted yesterday got me to thinking how that was even possible. Looking at the image above it seems confusion is built into the system.

Aliens must be so confused by fireworks.

Seen at Wimbledon...

I built that sunroom on the back of my house. Windows on three sides...

Swapped some artwork for all the windows, which I installed myself.

If you want to know what a man is really like, take a look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. – Sirius Black.

This guy is great...

How come kids play war and not peace? 

Too few role models.

My wife: "We’ve been through a lot together and most of it was your fault."

What a very, very effective plea...

NEW RULE: If a guy meets you online and you look nothing like your pics, then you must buy the drinks until you do.

Forget why this was posted originally...

 But, I want to discuss how they do it in some parts of Europe. They have (had anyway) wavy lines painted on the road prior to each stop sign. They are impossible to ignore and I think they are a good thing.

I had to read that twice before I got it.

How To Win An Argument:
1. Have a vagina.

Strange how we all show affection for our pets by holding them against us and whispering “I love you” while they struggle to break free.

Found at the Dollar Store...

 Reading that while surrounded by the cheapest shit ever produced by mankind.....lifes?????

Two of the luckiest people on earth. The first one is a huge falling crane...

This reminded me of that dog I had when I was a kid. He would do the exact same thing when a bigger kid got too close to me...

Laddie was its name and I still think of him often.

To all you young drama queens:
There is a huge difference between 'haters' and 'critics', and you aren't important enough to have either.


One Of My Very Own...

Not all that funny...I just asked myself "What would be a really absurd thing for this woman to say"? I think the closed eyes led to my decision.

This bear sensed a bee hive behind the siding of a house, so he tore it off to get at the honey.

 And yet, with venom launched into the air, this guy opens his mouth and turns it skyward.

Might want to look at this twice...

Every kid who played got a Participation Trophy. When they found out the "award" receivers were teasing the other kids, they gave everyone present a Non-Participant Trophy.

Grown adults refusing to take medicine in favor of prayer is my favorite form of natural selection.


OOMVO...

Before drawing boards were invented, what did people go back to?

I find it really nice that we evolved fingers just the right size to pick our noses.

 That is my kind of humor.

Let's all pay attention to this, shall we...

Captured this from a film taken with a long lens...

The lion cub at the bottom has his head stuck up a dead buffalo's ass. Eventually it suffocated. Shit happens.

 "Non-Disney words"....what a wonderful phrase.

This is irrational...

Is that even a rational argument? How about, You like cutting down trees to make houses? Then go gnaw it down with you teeth and stack them up yourself!
Please.

I went to the doctor for my hearing loss. He said, "Okay, name the symptoms." I said, "Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie."

This is almost impossible....

 It has so many fuses and thermal overrides that for this to happen several things had to go wrong at the same time.

There is an old saying that arises around a poker table from time to time when a person is taking too long deciding if they want to see another's raise...

 "I'd pay more than that to see two flies fuck."

 I've often wondered about the phrase "created in his own image." What about people born with six fingers, or webbed toes or, like my sister, three functioning kidneys. Were they born in his image even though they don't look like the rest of us?

 I hate laundromats. I hate the smell, I hate the lighting, I hate listening to other bored people breathe and I hate looking at people who you know are dressed in their least favorite outfit since all the rest are dirty.

Oslo...

I've used a device like this often. Most of the time I sit on a stool and have my paint arranged on a piece of plywood situated across the top of the handrails. But I'm kind of lazy.

 An award winning photograph...

I'm wondering if another monkey submitted it.

If dragons existed in China, they wouldn't last one generation before they were chopped up and eaten to see if they caused boners.

An awkward moment in the chat room...

The spiders in my studio and I have come to a very reasonable truce. I feed them any bugs I find and it's been nearly four months since I've seen any spiders away from their webs.

I posit that people who do this occasionally are happier people...

Raising your child to be open minded does not mean letting them do whatever they want.

An idea...literally...

Happy Hour really only begins when someone tips over the first beer.

So many things wrong...so little time...

 The saddest tattoo in the world...

I once heard a swear word bleeped out in a porn flick.

 I kind of like this...

 ...if only because it's not just like every other woman's.

You lying cunt!

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
Net Neutrality For Dummies: A cartoon that explains the problem so even I could understand - 
http://boingboing.net/2014/07/07/net-neutrality-what-it-is-an.html