FRIDAY #2285

One Of My Very Own...

"In June 2011 Terry Pratchett presented a one-off BBC television documentary entitled Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die on the subject of assisted death. It won the Best Documentary award at the Scottish BAFTAs in November 2011. He also stated several times that, when he dies, he wished to hear Thomas Tallis's Spem in alium played in the background."

So, here it is...

Of course I worry that if I picked a song to be played at my death, I would not, in fact, die at that exact moment and then me and my loved ones would just, like, sit around....waiting; then someone would say, "Okay, let's try it again," and restart the recording and then everyone is exchanging glances that communicated 'How many times do we have to do this before we just say fuck it and go get a drink?', so half way through the second time I just shoo them all away and die alone....which was probably best all the while.

How topical...

All kidding aside, I take choosing to die on my own terms very, very seriously. One of the greatest insults would be having the state tell me when and how I was going to die. How we gave the motherfuckers that much power is beyond me.
You want to bring in a judge to interview me to make sure a greedy relative is not pressuring me to kill myself so they can get my money....great. But don't tell me that I'm not in control of my own life. I find it insulting.

This week I said fuck more than I said shit.

This man knows exactly what he is doing...

I read the news today, oh, boy.

Knowing one's limit is important...

Room with a view...

Apartment is on the top of a ski lift in Norway

I bet if dogs could talk, the first words out of their mouths would be “you gonna eat that?”

The soundtrack to my life is just the Jeopardy theme playing in an endless loop.

Dum de dum dum, dum de dum…

Can we assume that there are multiple players on each team?

I sent my wife my first text. It read:
I'm at the bar with some friends. If I'm not home in 20 minutes read this message again.

Lake Huron Beach, Ontario Canada  

I once owned an Alfa and if I won the lottery I would buy another...

Ever wonder how much the performers at Woodstock got paid?

And in other Rock and Roll news:

Oh, look, somebody's been practicing...

You know, the retirement homes are soon going to get much more interesting...

The sex, drugs, rock and roll generation will start to shit themselves soon.

Etienne Ouamouno, father of Ebola patient zero, stands by the kapok tree where scientists say his two-year-old son might have contracted Ebola from bats in Meliandou, Guinea...

Let's think about that...carefully.
This motherfucker is standing in the EXACT spot the whole Ebola terror began. WHO MAKES A DECISION LIKE THAT?
Said Mr. Ouamouno, "But they had a camera!!"

Finland has progressive fines for driving offenses, so the more you earn, the more you pay. A wealthy businessman called Reima Kuisla was stopped for doing 103km/h in a 80km/h zone, and after an audit of his 2013 tax return, where he declared an income of €6.5m, he was fined €54,000. 

Ever wonder what multimillionaire, Reima Kuisla, looks like. Well, I looked him up...

Adds a whole new twist to a kick in the ass...

Rechargeable battery...

I know you probably don't care, but it's only logical that some of the Walking Dead zombies would have their dicks  flopping about.

Then why do you wear the shortest of shorts and tops that reveal the most cleavage? 

Two signs from the same store...

How do you spell arrogance in Chinese?

PHOTOGRAPHY...

What cheese is made backwards?

????

Edam.

I would like to meet this woman...

Most of the way through graduate school I had a studio that looked very much like this...

The deep end, Davide D’Elia

Womb, Tomb, Bomb.

Fuck English.

"I don't want to sit in a tree naked."

"But I have a camera!"

Florida...

Like Cadillac Ranch only with Airstreams.

If that's true it's the sadest thing I have every read.

My Final Word...

Tomorrow I have a TED talk for you...still trying to get up the nerve to try and add the random button, and for somebody like me it's like the first skydive or dragon slay.