MONDAY #2295

Mel, I don't have your new email address. Get in touch.

One Of My Very Own...

There are some very strange things in today's post. Tread with caution.

Artist John Lopez's sculptures:

Friend of mine sent these to me...which are not the strange part of this post...

 Take a moment to identify some of the parts...

I find that cool as shit, but the colors he gets is amazing...

You think he wanted to make a Buffalo Wing gag? 

I did this once!!!

Right before I was to be discharged from the military, I was given a battery of tests (like the ones above) to see if I were capable of becoming a life long airman. Well, I found out that the tests were supposed to take all day and when I finished I could go home. So....I answered every question without even looking at the question and left at the first opportunity...knowing there was not a chance in hell I was going to re-enlist.

 If I came upon this, I would be torn as never before...

Being an adult is realizing that $5,000 is a lot of money to owe, but little money to own.

Somebody, please, explain this to me...

That is a shotgun engraved with an image of a devil(?) shoving a broom up a deer's ass. Do you suppose you have to special order that or is it like right in the catalogue? And what if you called them to order?
"I'll take the 12 guage with the deer getting a broom shoved up its ass."

Oh, look, somebody got fucked to death...

Or he was fucked up when someone confused him with a deer and shoved a broom up his ass.

This man is NOT painting...

This man is posing for a photo and is doing what we artists who have found themselves interviewed call "dry brush," meaning there is no paint on the brush. 
But notice the mahl stick, which is used to steady the hand. I've had several, but you can make it out of just about anything. It is also why the painter's pallet is shaped like it is...you have a flat surface for paint, but you can also hold paint brushes and the mahl stick with one hand.

This is a school...

You can't image the dreariness of the elementary schools in which I have taught. Mostly concrete slabs with cinderblock walls all painted in some institutional blah.
I'm of the opinion that the visual environment is very important and US schools are behind the curve.

One picture that more or less explains corporate heirarchy...

This is worth the read, I think...

The phrase “I want to speak to your manager” is a secret code that unlocks the worst service anyone can provide without getting fired.

This came without explanation...

I have a particular stool at which I sit every day at my bar. I was given this stool in an informal ceremony on the bar's opening day.

Of course other patrons can't be disallowed access to "my" stool if they arrive first, but many times whispers are shared and a person will relocate and I will be allowed home...safe, and smug....and tipping well. 

I like this guy...

 I've never even seen cocaine, but I don't think that is what his poster is about. The poster is about ridiculousness, and he nailed it.

I have a website that emails me stuff like this from time to time...

It's called Riddled and it's worth the time. 

This bridge has so many instances of colision that a camera was installed...

I understand the costs of raising the bridge may be too high, but what would it cost to scrape off a couple of feet of pavement?

Completely silly and self serving but also completely dripping in cool. Hackett Martini Racing teamed up with men's suit maker Hackett to outfit their pit crew in stylish suits...

The newly discovered black and white image is the only photograph ever taken of Constanze Mozart, the widow of the Austrian composer and complete fucking genius Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart...

She is the one on the front left....but what an attractive group of people. 

This bird will soon no longer exist. I read an article and the last sentence struck me pretty hard...

"Our grandchildren will have to be satisfied with jellyfish and cockroaches."

Ever wonder what would make a man make a face such as this?

 Well, I think we can all called it justified...

My bet is that he was teaching his daughter to drive.

I think Sir Anthony Hopkins doesn't act anymore. He just wanders onto movie sets and he's so famous that they just change the script around anything he says or does. But even worse, directors place bait of his favorite vices around their sets to lure him into their films.

Some times I have the sneaking suspiction that Taylor Swift is just ignoring my tweets on purpose.

California has about one year of water left. Will you ration now?

 Can you imagine spending millions for that lake front property now waaaay up there? There is only one thing I can say to Californians who have ignored decades of warnings...

Is there a conspiracy to squelch the "true" knowledge of healing just so doctors and drug companies can get rich?

Australia's National Health and Medical Research Council reviewed 225 research papers on homeopathy and came to the conclusion that "there are no health conditions for which there is reliable evidence that homeopathy is effective.

Want to guess what this is?

 A photo from a hot air balloon with it's reflection off the water below.

I had to read that twice. 

Stefan Lanka, a "vaccination skeptic" who claims that measles are a psychosomatic condition brought on by "traumatic separations," publicly challenged people to prove that measles was caused by a virus. So David Barden, a German MD, took him to court to prove that he was owed €100,000 according to the terms of his bet. He won.

And here is what the stupid motherfucker looks like...

Researchers have created a 3-D printer that works on the atomic scale, assembling complex molecules from scratch. And they say their molecule-making machine could revolutionize the drug-development process and simplify the fabrication of solar cells and other high-tech products.

Bubble soccer is, for the most part, exactly what it sounds like: full-contact soccer where each player wears a plastic bubble from thigh to head approximately five feet in diameter. The bubble itself is a souped-up version of those inflatable sumo wrestling costumes, although your hands remain inside the bubble at all times. As of next week, NABS will have 30 active leagues across the United States with more on the way.

Boy, would I love to meet this man...

He looks like he is capable of giving you really good advice on living your life because he got it from the bible. 

She should have felt foolish long before her phone rang...

Rather than focusing on the heavily armed soldiers who populate most war games, This War of Mine simulates the experiences of a very different group of people: civilian survivors.

"You play as multiple survivors in a ramshackle house, hiding from snipers and trying to scrounge up enough food and resources to survive. At night, you creep out into the larger, fictional city of Pogoren, where you can loot empty houses or steal from other survivors—by force, if you choose. It can be a startling and often upsetting experience, especially when you are thrust into the game with no tutorial and no option to restore your game if things go awry, or even start more than one game at the same time."

You may probably have guessed, I think a game based on unarmed survivors is a great idea. 

What a delightful clip...

And I don't honestly care if it is animated or whatever, it is smile producing, and if you don't think so, you know nothing about being naked in the woods while drunk.

 I have known some strippers...

And, of course, just like everyone else I meet, I want to learn something I didn't know before I met them. And from what I've learned, they all hate doing what they do. They hate you for watching. They hate everything there is to do with it...except the money. So the next time you find yourself in a strip joint, just remember, every single one of them are looking down on your drunk ass with utter, total contempt. Now have a nice day...and remember to tip well, you low life piece of shit.

If you think they don't do shit like this, you are wrong.

 People love to fuck with one another...always have, always will. Read on...

A word on that:

I think everyone tolerates a whole bunch of abuse from people they like. My brother calls me a South Carolina inbred cracker and I let it slide. My daughter comments that something I did was the gayest thing she has ever seen and I let it slide. I think that happens to everyone all the fucking time, but one word out of line from someone we don't like and all shit hits the fan and someone wants to kick your ass or take you to court. Well, that ain't right, ya'll. It's just shallow....and mean.

My Final Word...