WEDNESDAY #3807

One Of My Very Own

How could I have possibly made a typo like that?

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com 

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The longer I watched that escape from the burning airplane the madder I got. If you have ever flown anywhere then you know to leave all carry-on behind when exiting the plane...ESPECIALLY IF IT ON FUCKING FIRE!!!

 The broke the prime directive.

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My bar was closed Monday so I made another dollar bar piece. It is mounted on the wood between two windows in my kitchen.

The top piece that looks crooked moves up and down to make more room for more dollars and as a bit of weight to flatten them out.

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YES, I HAVE AN OPINION ON THAT

What must future generations think about our lack of action in this matter? I will state again, no matter what your politics tell you, the science is clear - our activities are warming up the planet and the results can't be less than disastrous.
^^A1^^

When I was growing up I had the good fortune to have vast areas of forests to use as a playground.

I can look at an image like that and hear the gurgling and smell the moss. 
^^A2^^

From birth, there was an old WWI helmet lying around my yard.

The end of every war brings huge quantities of war surplus that is sold for fractions of a penny on the dollar.

I can remember wandering into an Army/Navy store as a child and there would be unused canteens for sale for 25 cents and they were stacked in a huge pile in the middle of the room. 

War requires the culling of all but the fittest and the brightest.

 Through propaganda, these young men are first taught to hate the enemy. I don't just mean hate the actions of that enemy's government, but to hate them personally. This inculcation makes the taking of life bearable to otherwise normal human beings who have an aversion to such slaughter.

And in the event of the inevitable death, both sides declare them heroes.

If we could remove the hero status, we would eliminate war.

If war is good for anything it is the forging of friendships.

But no matter how serious the subject, one can always find humor.

^^A3^^


I have listened to several horror stories concerning such things. One forbid clotheslines. Another guy got a call that told him his garage door had been open for 30 minutes and the rules allow it to be opened but 20.
Another forbid any type of truck to be visible. If you drove a pickup you had to keep it in the garage.
But in all fairness, they signed the contract and I would just bet that many of them did so to forestall living near black people - at least that's the way it is in the South.
^^A4^^

As most of you know, I own an arsenal of weapons. But I am more than willing to go through a more rigorous background check the next time I buy a gun - even at gun shows.
^^A5^^

This shows a lady being taken away by the Chinese police.

The reason? She made a bad joke about the Chinese president.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCOAbkTs_a4
^^A6^^

Without the possibility of release, how could it be expected to get any information from these old men?

^^A7^^

 On Facebook, I friend of my wife's told about her husband meeting Billy Joe Shaver, an old country singer. The husband showed up in some sort of "designer shirt" and Mr. Shaver would have nothing of it. Taking him to a closet he said, "Pick you out one of these," display a whole closet full of denim blue shirts.


Well, my wife posted a photo of my closet.


One of her friends replied with this.

I think he's a famous fashion designer.
^^A8^^

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My wife once pranked me by opening a carton of eggs and rearranging them so I wouldn't know which eggs were which.

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LIFE IS HARDER WHEN YOU'RE STUPID

How can women not get a feel for the kind of man she allows to bed her?
^^B1^^

 ^^B2^^

When people are grossed out by something they see in food preparation, I just laugh. I know what happens in the back room.
But we are not that fragile of a species. A little dirt or some hairs is not going to be our downfall. 
^^B3^^

I don't blame the stupid bastard for falling asleep...

I blame him for holding a pizza like that in the first place. 
^^B4^^

I almost missed this the first time...

 ^^B5^^

At least he now knows what she would do had the circumstances actually been nefarious. 
^^B6^^

^^B7^^

Speaking of fences...

 Why doesn't he just move to the other side of the fence out of reach?
^^B8^^

Nailed it...

^^B9^^


Thanks for the heads-up, darlin'.
^^B10^^

I loathe anti-vaxxers more than anyone on the planet.

Unvaccinated kid climbing out of the ball pit at McDonald's.

I put them in the same class as people who just declare that the planet is in a normal temperature increase without knowing a goddamn thing about it except for an article written by an employee of big oil or big coal.
^^B11^^

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To whoever cooks meth - could you start adding birth control to it?

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SELDOM SEEN EVENTS

Getting bloodwork and tagged. 

 This male weighs around 3,000 pounds. I think the bison would have been a great national symbol of America.
^^C1^^

A guy found a rock in a rock that spins.

 ^^C2^^
 

Is there anything those fuckers can't do with those things?

^^C3^^

When a snake makes the mistake of choosing a porcupine for a meal.

He won't make that mistake twice.
^^C4^^

 ^^C5^^

The original WebMD.

*MNBT
^^C6^^

 Horsetail butt plug?
^^C7^^

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My wife thinks I'm funny, but she also thinks she's funny, which is devastating news for me.

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AND NOW THE GOOD NEWS

 Nineteen-year-old Lan Junze, who is a crane operator, was working at a construction site nearby when an apartment building became engulfed in flames.  He drove the crane and quickly began to save 14 people over the next 30 minutes.
^^D1^^

 It was just another routine day when Om Prakash Yadav, then 10 years old, started for his school on September 24, 2010, in Azamgarh. He had barely moved some distance when he saw a school bus burning with several students stuck inside. The driver had already fled.
Without caring for his own safety, Om Prakash pulled open the door of the bus and rescued eight children. By the time he was done, flames had spread to his face, ears, back, and arms leading to serious burn injuries. Om Prakash was rushed to the district hospital where doctors referred him to Varanasi. He remained admitted there for 18 days and spent another 42 days in a hospital in Azamgarh before being discharged.
^^D2^^


https://news.northwestern.edu/stories/2019/05/methane-consuming-bacteria-could-be-the-future-of-fuel/
^^D3^^


Thank you, Mr. Atmosphere, for protecting us all this time. 
^^D4^^


[verification needed] 
^^D5^^

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I did that with the characters in my novel. In a lecture by a famous author, he said that a writer needed to know what kind of underwear each of his characters wore. 

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 I blame them both.

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