One Of My Very Own
EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
You can run out into your yard and get stung by fire ants and have more fun than most family reunions.
PONDERABLES
Today she would have been 92.
Please take a moment and consider the life and family she could have had. Then multiply that by 6,000,000-ish.
Life during wartime...
Did you notice that not one of them is looking at the camera? I guess they have other things on their mind.
And...
And look, I'm from Alabama and I KNOW there were a bunch of brothers getting it on with their sisters. And every time that I'm aware of it was older sisters and younger brothers. Just sayin'.
I once met a bridge designer in a bar and made this observation: "Isn't there like a formula for the width of the span and the height required and you just build it just like the other thousands of bridges that were built with similar requirements?"
He said, "Oh, there's a heck of a lot more about it than that."
And he reminded me of the cameraman in Groundhog dog in this scene who said something like - "Most people think I just point the camera but there's a heck of a lot more to it than that."
Some boys have more dogs than they need.
Which is okay by me.
My grandson used to have a dog.
And a fine much-loved dog it was.
A tragedy beyond measure - and mostly ignored.
That has nothing to do with it, but it did remind me of one of my finer moments.
When I was in middle school a teacher told us that when grading standardized tests they don't count the wrong answers and only count the right answers. Further, the questions got harder as the test progressed and were thus weighted heavier. Well, to a felonious fellow like myself I quickly deduced that when there were only a couple of minutes left in the test that I should skip to the end and guess on as many of them as I possibly could. Further, if I mark all B answers I am almost guaranteed to get 25% correct.
It worked swimmingly.
[verification needed]
What a hep guy.
And the same guy who wrote that will ask the woman he loves most for car head on the way home from the restaurant. Yes, he will ask his future wife to put that filthy member in her mouth for long, long minutes...and afterward, he will KISS those same lips that had so recently been wrapped around a part of his body which he believes requires immediate washing of any hand that merely touches it. Go figure.
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I would like to see the look on a dog's face when he encounters his first catfish.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT
WTF, scientists?
Did you notice a similar structure in the background? I bet that adds to the strength of the building immensely.
FYI: I once read that 'strength' was the longest word in the English language with only one vowel. I think about that every time I write it.
I would think a farmer's or athletic field would be a safer option. Or a huge parking lot. Or a river. Or the median of an interstate.
I heard a convincing argument that there was no need to build the pyramids with all massive stones. He contended that the middle is full of packed rubble. He reinforces his argument with the fact that there is no rubble to be found anywhere near the pyramids and there surely must have been mountains of the stuff.
The authorities will not allow him to drill inside one to test his theory. I think it makes a lot of sense.
Why women live longer...
I had a dentist whose name was Dr. Payne. I smiled every time I saw his sign.
A perfect human foot.
The spectator's hand gesture at the 5th second.
Queen Elizabeth II insisted on cutting a cake using a ceremonial sword.
The nice thing about being a Queen is that there's nobody to tell you you're holding it upside down.
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Naps are great. Just cut one big day into two smaller days so you won't choke on it. Much easier to digest.
MYSTERY SECTION
What Do All These Items Have In Common?
Pot party?
My young grandson.
There's an apple falling not far from the Pastafarian tree story in there someplace.
Earthquake Helmet Chair
In Japan, the need for immediate, effective protection from earthquakes is great. Designer Kota Nezu offers this chair to help. When the ground begins shaking, remove the back and put it on your head to protect your skull and spine.
MYSTERY SECTION ANSWER TO FOLLOW.
Blame it on that damn Igloo cooler.
While on a hike through rural Germany I stumbled across these discarded milk buckets.
Upon closer examination, I discovered both of them had bullet holes in them. It being only 20 years after WWII this did not surprise me.
Being a preserver of artifacts, I picked the best of the two and mailed it home. And to this day it sits on my back porch.
My mother painted it that hideous green.
MYSTERY SECTION ANSWER:
FOUND ROUND THINGS
1 comment:
A10: I had a professor who stated that you began every test with a 100%. Assume you had 100 questions. He would take off 1.25% for each wrong answer. The reason being, is to eliminate guessing. His theory was that if you guessed on every question then you would have a 25% chance of being right. His method of grading removed that to give a result at or near zero.
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