About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Friday, July 16, 2021

FRIDAY #4587

 One Of My Very Own

Sorry. Let's try another...

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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PONDERABLES


I think the trick is to major in something with few competitors. I became a muralist because there really weren't very many of them at the time...like none. 

I am often asked how I price my murals and the answer is - whatever the market will bear. Meaning, I never ever leave money on the table.

^^A1^^

BRAVO! I've been preaching this for decades! If a young person enlists in the US military and serves honorably then they should immediately be granted citizenship.

^^A2^^

I try to be weird as often as possible.

^^A3^^

We hire people to crunch the numbers. They work for the CBO (Congressional Budget Office) and they tell us Medicare for all will save the average American money.

^^A^^

Yes, I remember the good old days. But does debauchery fit under sin or degradation? The way I did it probably both.

^^A5^^

That even applies to nuclear weapons maintenance.

^^A6^^

I swore to myself many years ago that I would never put myself in a position to have to beg for my life in my own home. If you come into my home I will shoot you. Period.

^^A7^^

Baseball workers

Think about this: A fielder stands around and might have to catch a ball two or three times during a game. A baseman touches the ball more often but in many innings, he never moves from his position. A catcher works more than basemen and fielders but basically, he catches a ball thrown to him and then throws it back. But a pitcher works his ass off throughout the whole time he's in the game.

LATER: I was wrong. Nick the bartender reminded me that most modern pitchers only work 3 or 4 innings a game then take a couple of games off to rest whereas the catcher works every pitch every inning of every game. Thank you, Nick the bartender.

^^A8^^

I had an art professor say that art might be just decoration but it's the highest form of decoration there is.

^^A9^^


My mother told me this story and swore that every detail was true:

I had a cousin that was born around the same time as me. He had macrocephaly or a swollen head. The doctors could not help this child so my aunt begged my mother to accompany her on a trip deep into the forest to visit a healer. When they arrived at the tiny store where they were to meet the healer there were a half-dozen or so black men standing around on the porch. This was in the 1950s and white women simply did not go into a black store in the dead of night. But they did. They stated their business and shortly an old black woman came out on the porch, took a look at the baby, and said, "I will make your baby well again but you must remain here on the porch." So, the old woman took the child inside, and soon the baby was screaming as if it were being murdered. My mother had to hold my aunt to keep her on the porch. After many long minutes, the old lady brought out the now sleeping baby and said that it was now healthy. And it was. The old lady would accept no money and they never saw her again.

Make what you will of the story but my mother would never fabricate such a tale. It could have been spontaneous remission and it was just a coincidence that it happened on the night of the visit. It could be that the old woman knew an ancient herbal cure. I only know two things: 1. My cousin had macrocephaly, 2. He lived a normal healthy life after the visit to the old woman.

^^A10^^

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You can drink screwdrivers and get hammered while watching Saw and hoping you get nailed. The English language is fun.


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PEOPLE FUCKING WITH OTHER PEOPLE


^^B1^^

The Republican. It can move to any unoccupied position on the board but cannot capture pieces. Its only function is to get in the way and slow things down.

^^B2^^

"I'm going to stop by the store and up a chainsaw for my husband."

^^B3^^

^^B4^^

Lock your fingers together. 

Press down with your palms.

Look at the sole of your left shoe.

Click goes the phone for immediate posting to Youtube.

^^B5^^

We all need to be reminded of this magnificent bastard from time to time...

^^B6^^

I have shit like that around my studio.

^^B7^^

I had already seen this and it still took me a minute or two...

^^B8^^

25 years ago today, England announced they would finally be returning, at long last, The Coronation Stone of Scone to Scotland after 700 years of intrigue, animosity, and thievery back-and-forth between British royals and the Scots.

In 1296, the stone, also known as the Stone of Destiny, was captured from Scone Abbey near Perth, Scotland by Edward I, as part of the spoils of war. It was taken to Westminster Abbey, where it was fitted into a wooden chair—known as King Edward’s Chair—atop which most subsequent English kings and queens were crowned.

^^B9^^

It must be hard being that fucking savage.

^^B10^^

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Dr: How many drinks do you have per week?

Me: Four-

Dr: okay

Me: -teen

Dr:

Me: Did you say per week?


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*You are not only bigger than they are you are smarter than they are.


I once watched my daughter in an arcade gleefully "playing" the demonstration screen for 30 minutes.

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OBJECTS OF INTEREST


That looks so fucking delicious but my appetite has dropped to almost non-existent.

^^C1^^

I knew a man who called his wife "Eggs".

^^C2^^

Brubaker Box (Ark2, 1979)

I would love to own a vehicle like that.

^^C3^^

Do you think you steer it by applying brakes to one side?

^^C4^^

I haven't a clue as to what its function might be but I still want one.

^^C5^^

The ball found in Oils Sands mine in Canada

It's not as large as it looks. I would say two feet in diameter.

^^C6^^

A road trip from Shitterton to Twatt...

^^C7^^

The Istra High Voltage Research Center in Russia is also dubbed the Tesla Generators Research Facility.

The facility was a Soviet-operated testing facility built in the 1970s and operated by the Moscow Power Engineering Institute.

The facility is notable for containing what is believed to be the world's largest Marx generator, which was originally created to help test lightning insulation in military aircraft.

The Marx generator is rarely turned on today, with the last recorded use being in August 2014.

^^C8^^

It takes a lot of money for a life like this.

I owned a small camper and enjoyed it very much...except for emptying the sewage. God, I hated that so much that it ruined the whole trip.

^^C9^^

Fiddling for worms...

The vibrations cause the worms to leave the soil rather dramatically.


My brother-in-law sawed off a sapling and then sawed down through the middle. This sent the vibrations out through the roots and hundreds if not thousands of worms came up.

There's even a book explaining the different techniques.

^^C10^^

Look inside NASA's Solid Rocket Booster (SRB) for the Space Launch System Artemis program. SRBs actually burn from the middle instead of the bottom.

*All solid-fuel rocket motors burn from the inside out. All the ones I worked on were shaped like this to increase the burn surface area.

Every time a missile came in for maintenance we had to check for any cracks in the propellant. One crack in the solid fuel and the motor would explode.

^^C11^^


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Why did we learn state capitals? When has anyone ever “Topeka is the capital of Kansas” ’d their way out of a real problem?


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AND AWRY WE GO


Why we need government regulations...

Did you notice that he is not alone?

^^D1^^

I've watched many young women come back to one of my bars to get their cars the next morning after going home with a guy and they all looked very similar to that.

^^D2^^

You shall not pass.

 Karma in 42 seconds...

^^D3^^

I know the cardboard guy is about to be murdered for his dedication to transparency but at least he's holding his phone horizontally. Good for him. RIP.

*This is one of the targets used as part of rapid threat detection training. It's not supposed to be shot. Or so I'm told.

^^D4^^

We all need some assistance from time to time...

If you know what I mean.

^^D5^^

How to neatly stack two out of four...

^^D6^^

^^D7^^

*I'm sure you've all seen this already but bear with me.

Videos shot in Atami, a resort town, show walls of mud overwhelming buildings, carrying cars, debris, and even houses downhill. The disaster followed days of torrential rain in Shizuoka prefecture, with more falling in the first three days of the month than is usually expected in the whole of July.


Ladies and gentlemen, I present the luckiest man in Asia.

And mere seconds later...

I think it would have been prudent for the van driver to take a side street.

^^D8^^

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Oh, shit!

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More from that art gallery in Aiken, SC. 

Aiken is famous for its horse farms that raise world-class racers, so I knew in the bricked-in windows of the wall facing the main intersection in town I should have horses.

A visit to a horse farm gave me the idea for the stable configuration.

But there were three windows and I didn't think it would get much attention if we played it straight. Here is the finished mural...

Yes, that's a cow wearing sunglasses...in a horse barn and the white horse looks a little suspicious.


BTW the grain on the wood was created with a rubber-headed tool on a handle. You just drag it through wet paint as you change the angle of the handle.





3 comments:

Anonymous said...

C5: Its called a Nixie Tube clock. you can buy kits to build yourself.

Steve said...

Puzzle:
7
Initially, 6 bars with 3 leftover pieces. Then when those 6 wear down, combine with the leftovers for 1 more bar.

Dr. WeTodd said...

c4- two levers

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