About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, September 21, 2021

TUESDAY #4654

 One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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A Joke From A Viewer

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" The coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you, the old Muslim woman says. "You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!

*Viewer Contribution


AN ATTEMPT AT HUMOR


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They don't make movies like this anymore...

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*Verification Required

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*I would kinda like to see that.

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LET'S FINISH THIS SECTION WITH A FEW TITTIE GAGS


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Having a band of demons join in should definitely disqualify you from a fiddle contest.


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PEOPLE DOING THINGS I CAN'T OR WON'T


What an entrance!

Do you think he meant to do that?

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Look at this young man and guess who he turned out to be...

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HINT: In his later years his face was one of the most recognizable on the planet.

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On this day in 1890, Colonel Sanders of KFC fame was born.

Harland David Sanders began selling fried chicken from his roadside restaurant in North Corbin, Kentucky, during the Great Depression. Commissioned as a Kentucky Colonel by the governor, he had a “Secret Recipe” for frying chicken in a pressure fryer, which cut cooking times. He recognized the potential of the restaurant franchising concept, and, with a product that evoked the imagery of Southern hospitality, the first KFC franchise opened in Utah in 1952.

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Breathtaking...literally. But it sort of reminds me of this...

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Men and the games they play.

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Tank shot...

Did you notice the trail of dust caused by the shell streaking toward the horizon?

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Okay, this is the only good part of freezing rain...

And the reason I could never do that is that I would never live in a place where something like that could possibly occur.

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Once you have seen a woman take off her bra without removing her shirt it makes more sense why they should be in charge of things.


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DAMN GOOD IDEAS


The contest, which launched in 2019 with $3.3 million in prize money, called for five stages of the competition to develop the best wave energy devices. The rules require the winners to deliver machines that can “survive harsh wave conditions,” fit into standard shipping containers, and be deployed within 48 hours of coastal disasters such as hurricanes that shut down electric power systems.

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It's not perfect but it's damned close...

I really like photographs like that.

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Better Data on Ivermectin Is Finally on Its Way

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There are actually people today who still believe you can pay your way through college with a part-time job. They haven't a clue.

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Japanese subway guard trains

I would think these would be installed all over the world.

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Wait…..watt??!!

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Seems like a perfect fit for inserting Special Ops troops.

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5 by 5 Rule: If it's not going to matter in 5 years don't spend more than 5 minutes being upset by it.


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EXAMPLES OF FLAWED LOGIC


Please take the time to find a good in-depth definition of a cult and then tell me if you think these people are harmless.

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You know the people who say millions of people can't all be wrong...

Yes, they most certainly can.

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Yes, that's Danny Devito at a gay pride parade...

And no, you don't have to be gay to support their cause.

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Conservative Self-Owns

I came across a site that listed hundreds of these and I culled for the cleverest.


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And before you condemn me for my views of Republicans, remember this...

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That's bullshit.

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This is a warehouse for a liquor wholesaler. I painted perfectly flat stucco walls to look exactly like the train depot next door. I included actual employees in the design.

I painted at night because it was 107 degrees during the day.

The illusion was so effective that they had to put up this sign to deter delivery drivers from backing up to the mural.


Tomorrow I'll show you what I did next door. I think you will like it.

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