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FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY
"Aloud?"
But that is a real problem in some marriages. My wife can hardly keep her hands off my penis. In her exact words: "That's the most beautifully perfect manhood that I have ever seen" - and she has seen A LOT of manhoods. All of her friends beg her for more photographs of it so now I have to lock the door while I shower. It's a burden some of us must bear.
The importance of the Oxford Comma...
I was once stopped by a construction worker standing in the middle of the road with a sign.
Considering it an exceedingly easy job, I rolled down my window and said, "I want your job." He whipped off his vest, threw it in my window, then tried to shove the stop sign in while saying, "You can have this fucking job!"
A good time was had by all.
When my father was growing up, roads were not all that organized. The available travel instructions would say things like, "Go .7 miles and turn right at the red barn."
*MNBT
What has been seen can't be unseen.
I found it odd that they censored the nipples on the first drawing. Nowadays nipples are like Harry Potter's "He who must not be named".
Who made the rule that it is okay to show all of the breast EXCEPT the nipple?
And you can show the nipple if you paint it a different color.
Who are these people who decide what can be seen and what must be eternally hidden?
I mean, they are so versatile!
Of course, men are constantly being reminded of those forbidden nipples...
The Eyes Have It
It's the perfect night to get lost in the woods and change your name to something the wolves can pronounce.
I made a Christian Rock song on my alarm at 8am so now I get up at 7:30am.
PONDERABLES
When someone says "God bless you" to me I ask them which one. Most of the time the notion that there are/were thousands of Gods never occurred to them.
Nice way to defuse the tension.
I put climate change deniers and anti-vaccine people in the exact same group as that guy.
2 out of the top 65 are in my state!
On Fox News, Congressman Jim Jordan said, "30 of the top 70 lawless cities are run by Democrats." If my math is correct, that means 40 are run by Republicans.
All things Ralph...
Homecoming in Ukraine
Do you ever think what that war is doing to those children?
^^B9^^
You are such a loser that if there was a contest for losers you would come in 2nd.
I really like winters in South Carolina.
This year it was on Tuesday.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT
During the Revolutionary War, the Americans in South Carolina built their defensive fortifications out of palm trees, and being relatively soft, cannon balls would just be absorbed into the wall with minimal damage.
What's on his feet?
Moon Tree
????
I used to have two dogs who would attack one another when a strange dog neared my yard. It was almost like they wanted to demonstrate how tough they were.
Bird Wheel
Dolphin Awesomeness
My wife once offered to buy the security camera footage of her parallel parking in front of a store.
If there's a dog on the cover and the book is an award winner, I won't read it because the dog definitely dies.
PEOPLE DOING THINGS
I CAN'T OR WON'T DO
When I painted murals in new buildings under construction I always asked for and got a lift stage.
????
^^D2^^
The Bodyguard of Japanese Prime Minister Fumio Kishida kicks away an explosive device during the recent assassination attempt.
How do you get insurance with such a hazard in the building?
Yeah, he hit himself in the head...
Drawing
Faux Wood Grain
My woodgrain tool doesn't look like that.
Fencing Sportsmanship
Metalsmith
Norway Knows How To Get Along
Sandwich Making
Woman Weightlifting
On 4/16/23 Leah Reichman completed a 953.5 lb (432.5kg) squat, 501.5 lb (227.5kg) bench press, and 600.75 lb (272.5kg) deadlift. On top of being the first woman to squat over 900lbs, she’s now set a new world record female powerlifting total (adding the total of three lifts) of 2,055.8 pounds.
See anything...odd?
5 comments:
A1: Yeah, in your dreams.
A1: *MNBT*
Puzzle Time
There are no pockets in the pool table.
There are no pockets in the tables because they are Billiards tables which only uses 3 balls and NO pockets!
C1 - Hummingbird eggs. I have a bunch of pictures like this one and a video of them hatching. I had 4 nests in the trees in my yard over a 2 year period. A fledgling was trying to fly out of the nest and landed on the ground. He wouldn't /couldn't get back up in the tree, so I had to pick him up and put him there myself. God, they are the coolest damn birds!
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