FOLIO OLIO: THURSDAY 6/3/10

Captain's Log, Lake City, Florida.

Ate BBQ at BJ's. I almost took a photo of the sign, but I knew you would believe me.

I plan to eat BBQ in every state I visit. I also plan to not eat in any fast food chains...we will see how that works out...except Krystal Burgers, which is not a fast food chain...IT IS A SPECIAL GIFT FROM GOD HIMSELF TO ME!! And I don't even get up and overdress on Sundays and apologize for being human. He just did it without being asked...AND THAT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME!!!

Also, first completion of an art installation I plan to do all across America. I have acquired dozens of very heavy duty solid brass tags that are randomly numbered (see photo below). I bought a cigar box full of them at a yard sale for $10. I also have a bag of heavy duty brass screws and brass washers. I plan to attach one of these in various places that I find of interest. The first one is mounted to a palm tree outside our motel room on Tybee Island.

Kind of looks like the government did it, don't it...which works for me. I like official looking stuff. I've collected stuff all my life and to my thinking, if you put ANYTHING in a little plastic bag, with a card indicating the date it was found and individually number it...well, it just really looks official.

Now, I've bumped it up a notch. Only the government can afford solid brass...them and now me.

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And now the regularly scheduled lunacy...

Caption this...if you dare...

There is an oft repeated myth that my man above flunked math in school. It's not true. It started in a 1935 article in Ripley's Believe It or Not. The man mastered differential and integral calculus at age 15.

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

Maria: Here it is.

Teacher: Now class, who discovered America?

Class: Maria.

FACT: BERVARD COUNTY, Fla. -- The Brevard County doctor who was arrested for groping a woman while dressed as Captain America with a burrito in his pants will not go to jail. (Can you imagine the reporter who had to write that...which is true, by the way)

We all dance on the feet of a different dumber.

OUCH!!!

Someone once told me that there were only three true sports: Bullfighting, mountain climbing, and boxing. His reasoning was that these people put their life on the line every fucking time. You win...you win...you lose...you very well could die. I would have included lawn darts...but maybe that's just the way we used to play it in Alabama.

This is one reason I became an artist...we can get away with stuff like this as long as we title it...or as I stated earlier, make it look official...somehow...which sounds easier than it actually is.