THIS IS WHAT FLAGRANT NEGLECT LOOKS LIKE, FOLKS...
...not only are they not helping...THEY'RE DOING IT ON PURPOSE!!!
"Everything will be okay in the end...if it's not okay, it's not the end."
Soon NASA's space shuttle will be scuttled.
Our astronaughts will fly to Russia and hitch a ride to the International Space Station. NASA will pay, get this, fifty five million per astronaught to fly to the space station.
Could someone splain how the Russians charged, only, ten million for the(2) civilian thrill seekers to take the same ride....
Just wondering.
Some of you might like this site: Cockpits from a bunch of warplanes... http://www.codeonemagazine.com/test/archives/2007/articles/jan_07/cockpits/cockpits.html
A guy walked up to the counter at the welfare office to pick up his check and said, "I just hate drawing welfare. I'd rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in a 2010 Mercedes CL and he will supply all your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will have to satisfy her sexual urges, since she is in her mid-20's and has a strong sex drive."
The wide-eyed guy gasped, "You've got to be shitting me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well, you started it!"
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in a 2010 Mercedes CL and he will supply all your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will have to satisfy her sexual urges, since she is in her mid-20's and has a strong sex drive."
The wide-eyed guy gasped, "You've got to be shitting me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well, you started it!"
We've all had days like this, haven't we?
Cause and effect... 
"I don't do drugs anymore. I am allergic to them. I break out in handcuffs."
Raleigh , NC -- Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of President Obama's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters. The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment; whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of dollars worth of high tech equipment. It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits. However, Gordon got more than he bargained for! At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN, and sold the car to Dale Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower. |
One of my very own...
And lastly, the GUY PART....
And my next wife....
...in my next life.
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