TUCSON

My wife has an old friend who is like a gazillionaire. Among other things, she owns a bed and breakfast outside Tucson and insisted that we stay here. There is no smoking near the room, so I have to walk 30 yards through the dessert to the "Smoking Area" - a concrete slab and wooden bench with no shade. I took a cold beer out with me the last time. It was at room temperature in about 38 seconds...it's that fucking hot. The soles of my shoes were melting!

But it's a dry heat, which only meant that half of my beer evaporated before I could make it back to my room.

The room we were assigned has 14 (fourteen)...FOURTEEN!!!...crosses.

I live in fear that in the dead of night I will be overpowered and a Mexican gardener will perform a crude and painful exorcism on me with something akin to a stable shovel. But speak me no soft words in ruth and pity, I deserve all the magic I can get.

The room also has the obligatory Virgin Mary calendar and two wall-mounted Madonna plates.

The Virgin Mary is kind of neat. Pray smarter, not harder, is what I say. If you petition god, you have to acknowledge his sovereignty, but if you whine to his mother, the possibilities are endless.

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I'm awaiting anxiously my first game of the World Cup. Luckily the afternoon games come on at 4PM in the Mountain Time Zone (5 Pacific). That way I will have enough time off the road to get a little buzz on before kickoff.

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I received this email today...titled "Only in South Carolina".

COLUMBIA, S.C. — An unemployed man who raised no funds and put up no campaign shocked South Carolina's Democratic Party leadership by capturing the nomination Tuesday to face Republican U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint in November. With nearly all precincts reporting, Alvin Greene, 32, commanded 59 percent of the vote against 41 percent for former four-term state lawmaker Vic Rawl, 64, who had raised about $186,000. State Democratic Party Chairwoman Carol Fowler said voters unfamiliar with either candidate may have voted alphabetically for Greene over Rawl. "As far as I know, he never showed up at anything. Vic Rawl has been campaigning everywhere from the time he filed," she said.

(VOTED ALPHABETICALLY!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!)

****THINGS I FIND WORTHY OF SHARING****

My plan is to get as many people as I know to throw EVERY present member of congress out. ANY new guy COULDN'T do worse than the ones in there now....however, to get rid of Jim DeMint (Who yelled "You lie" at the president) I would have to advocate voting for the unemployed guy mentioned earlier. It will be a tough call on election day.

One of my very own...

No tag installation today....no worthy candidates.

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