TUCSON - Day 2

My wife and several astute readers pointed out that I made a mistake in my last post...it was Joe Wilson, not DeMint who yelled at the president...sorry.

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I have a theory that if a man and woman sleep together in the same bed long enough, then molecules of his ass will migrate over to her side of the bed and attach themselves to her ass. As proof I offer this fact: I used to have an ass, now I have none; and now my wife...well, you get my point. I wanted to provide photographic evidence, but, even in the interest of science, my wife would have none of it.

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7am...92 degrees. Found the new large bag of M&M's in the glove box. Melted down into a blob that feels very much like a silicon breast implant.

Proof that Americans are not as stupid as they are purported to be: just found out that the reason all the motels have vacancies and the restaurants are all but empty is that nobody comes here in the summer because it's just too damn hot. Somehow I missed that survival memo.

But it could be worse. I just found out that in Canada the rule is to always dig out your license plate first...that way you don't dig out somebody else's car by mistake.

I really haven't been anywhere or done anything to share with you today...mostly I just sit around waiting for my wife to finish her shopping, then we both go out and eat too much.

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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading." Thomas Jefferson

THE WORLD'S OLDEST SHOE

This cowhide lace-up was worn 5,500 years ago...1,000 years BEFORE the Great Pyramid. It's a size 4, probably a woman's. Also found in the same cave were three jars, each containing a child's head.

(I will bet real money that you didn't know that)

"When I joined the military, homosexuality was illegal. Then it became optional. I'm getting out before Obama makes it mandatory."

Kenya was a British colony when Obama was born. BP is a British company. Coincidence? I think not.

But tomorrow USA plays the limey oil dumping, inept bastards in the World Cup and IT'S TIME TO PAY THE LIMEY BASTARDS BACK!!!

(Some people are now calling New Orleans the Big Greasy)

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And now several interesting photos I found...

ET must have taught the kid a special trick to put that smile on his bride's face.

Guy's love stuff like this...

"It just dawned on me that I will never die young...well, that's something anyway."

"TV is gooder than books is."

One of my very own...

A cop killer was found by the Swat team and shot 68 times. The coroner listed the cause of death as Natural Causes. When asked about it, the coroner said, "Well, when you get shot 68 times you are naturally gonna die."

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