FOLIO OLIO

I have a friend who spends a couple of days a week pretending to be a juror at the Judicial Center, a mock courtroom to train prosecutors. They bring in real evidence and have non-participating prosecutors pretend to be witnesses. After hearing the case the jury deliberates and renders a verdict. The prosecutors then query the jury about the trial.
One of the female prosecutors even asked if her ankle tattoo distracted the jury. They said that it didn't look professional.
This past week he "practiced" a case that was to be tried THIS WEEK. What I mean is, all of the other cases were reenactments of old cases, but this one was practice for an upcoming event.
I cried foul for this reason. The public defender assigned to represent the defendant DID NOT HAVE THE RESOURCES AVAILABLE TO HIM TO CONDUCT SUCH PRACTICE.
Imagine, the DA tries the mock case in front of the mock jury (focus group) and gets to tweak his case to his advantage. You and I pay for this through our taxes. I might add that the defendant also paid for it through his taxes. But the Public Defender, who also works for the government, is denied such a powerful tool.
I just don't like it.
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When a woman wears leather clothing, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he goes weak in the knees and he begins to think irrationally. You know why?

She smells like a new truck.

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(it's a hole the shape of a fly...just to give the little bastards a chance)

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Jack be nimble

Jack be quick

But that was before

the accident.

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WARNING: DO NOT GET CURIOUS AND LOOK UP THIS VIDEO!!!

(I had the exact same reaction and only lasted the first 30 seconds)

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"I said left, Harold."

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TRUE:
"Who's responsible for the 9/11 attack."
"I don't know."
"Take a guess."
"5, maybe?"

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World War, The Musical...

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If I were stranded on an island and could only take three items, I would take Michael Phelps, a saddle and a cattle prod.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

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TRUE: Russia is in the middle of a record heat wave. They have no air conditioning. Result: In one week over two thousand people have drowned. Authorities reported that in most cases alcohol was involved.
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Climate change deniers took as PROOF of the wrongness of the "theory" that last winter had record cold weather. I wonder what they are going to deduce from this summer's record hot weather? Of course, the big mistake was calling it global warming in the first place, when the correct term is Climate Change.
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Protest Mocking...my new hobby...

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That Anthony Graber broke the law in early March is indisputable. He raced his Honda motorcycle down Interstate 95 in Maryland at 80 mph, popping a wheelie, roaring past cars and swerving across traffic lanes.
But it wasn't his daredevil stunt that has the 25-year-old staff sergeant for the Maryland Air National Guard facing the possibility of 16 years in prison. For that, he was issued a speeding ticket. It was the video that Graber posted onYouTube one week later -- taken with his helmet camera -- of a plainclothes state trooper cutting him off and drawing a gun during the traffic stop near Baltimore.
In early April, state police officers raided Graber's parents' home in Abingdon, Md. They confiscated his camera, computers and external hard drives. Graber was indicted for allegedly violating state wiretap laws by recording the trooper without his consent.
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Yeah, I went hunting once. Shot the deer in the leg. Had to kill it with a shovel. Took about an hour.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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Pepsi will soon begin marketing a soft drink laced with Viagra. It will be named MOUNT & DO.
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This is a new packing tape...I like it...

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I think the first person who goes down to the gulf, gets some of that tar ball shit and uses it to paint pictures of damaged wildlife will make a fortune.

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What in the hell is this? A Gay Rights Klan parade?

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Where were you on the 14th of August, 2006 at 11:52 PM?
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"Who, damnit, WHO?!?"

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Brvty is the sl of wt.
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Well, it could be ice...according to where you hid the body.

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"May I help you?" asked the clerk at the card counter.
"Do you have any "Sorry I laughed at your dick" cards?"
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I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
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I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms.
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