PEOPLE DOING THINGS THAT AMUSE ME....MOSTLY

Halloween.....ya gotta love it....some more than others...

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TRUE: A 30 year old Taiwanese woman, Chen Wei Yih, decided to marry herself after she couldn't find a worthy partner. The wedding cost $6,000 and was attended by 30 guests.

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Talk about your hot date.....

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Here in Fort Futility, I spend my days pasting my face onto the pictures on the obituary pages and pretending I had actually done all those things.

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FACT: 1 in 5 women are lesbians....

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TRUE: During the Rwandan genocide in 1994, the mountain gorillas stopped having babies. They think that the beasts were so habituated to people, that when they stopped coming, they became depressed.

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"Does this ponytail make my ass look fat?"

"No, your ass makes your ass look fat........moo."

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I stopped doing armed robberies for her.

She stopped exercising.

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He painted this in 3 strokes....using only the color orange....

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Tell your children that if they watch too much TV their eyes will fall out. And further tell them that when their eyes are right ready to fall out they can touch them and they feel loose in the socket.

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Goth......the early years...

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I was reminded recently that the phrase "roll on down the road" means in a car.

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I fear that most people will see no humor in an image of a spectacled guy getting his face crushed in by an angry cop's billy club, but I find it hilarious.

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FACT 3: IDIOT

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I once went to a Bo Diddley concert and somehow ended up peeing in the urinal next to him in the bathroom.  Oddly, I take great pride in that fact.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAH!!!1

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 HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHA!!!!

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THAT BASTARD!!! 

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This man thought he had the coolest tattoo in the world......

......until he went to prison.

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I never blow cigarette smoke in the faces of little children except when I'm playing "Second Hand Smoke" with my nephews.

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Maybe he wasn't acting in all those Vacation movies....

Fear of "Whackers", indeed!
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Laws, regulations...what about morals and your own instinct? Borders, ownership? Are we not merely custodians of the land? Come on, Crazy Horse, take a stand.

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(for A)

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"I'm not a control freak.

I'm a control enthusiast."

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DON'T EAT FOOD ON AN EMPTY STOMACH!

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How did this guy get such a hot chick?

Because he's a.....................fungi.

(I'm sure you didn't see that coming)

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TRUE: I friend of mine dressed in a costume very similar to this for a party one time. But he would let unsuspecting people sit on him and then goose them through a hole in the seat. Many of the women accused the man standing behind the chair of being rude.

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And, sadly, I believe you, Spunky. 

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Work is the crocodile in the river of desire.

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Dear Billy,
Do you have a sister?
Thank you,
Charles
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There are seven days in a week....one for each dwarf.

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"HICCUP GIRL CHARGED WITH MURDER"

Yet another string of words never before arranged that way before.

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Many people believe that sadness can be eaten.....often.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....if you don't know why that is funny...I admire you.
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He was just trying to send her a picture of his new Crocs and his dick got in the way.
(repeat?)
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Bless her.........heart....

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My attractive female neighbor is completely paranoid. She thinks I'm stalking her. She's worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise she is purified....purified? Oh, wait...petrified. It's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree.

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One of my very own....

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I choose not to pray to god. 

But he is welcome to pray to me.

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