SOME JUST PLAIN WEIRD SHIT

( SEGUE )

Tonight my Green Bay Packers face the hated Minnesota Pussies. I have my #15 Bart Starr jersey on in preparation and each time I enter the room with her I make my wife hum that theme from the movie 2001.....yeah......I'm that bad. But for you people who don't know me all that well, Bart Starr was my next door neighbor when I was growing up. You don't know who Bart Starr is? Then fuck you and your whole Nordic family, and for the love of cheddar cheese Google him...just once. He also once dated my 9th grade history teacher. Yeah, we are that close. We still correspond. I stand out in front of one of the car dealerships he owns and shout for him from across the street, but due to the restraining order I am only shown raised middle fingers from the staff.......jealous bastards. Don't you just hate it when that happens to you?

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Wait for it..........wait for it........waaaaaaait....

 NOW!

(I warned you that we, my faithful viewers, shall swim in the murky waters of weirdness today)
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Okay, here's the deal...you have one hundred guesses as to what this woman is doing at the time of this photo. (you still won't get it)

(hint: it has to do with "under wear")

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Yes, this young mother had the web address of a casino tattooed on her forehead in huge bold font. I hope she was paid well.....to cover the costs of her son's therapy.

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Boy, you talk about your weird juxtapositon!!!

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A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
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How ironic would it be if during an autopsy they found the remains of a shark in a man's stomach? (I'm starting to hear the theme tune from Twilight Zone...do, do, do..do, do...)

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It just occurred to me that this might be a bra for nursing mothers.  So not weird, but I've uploaded it already so it stays.
(by the way I LIKE nursing mothers and think every mother should.....oh......do it like it supposed to be done!!!!!)

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She's either a deep sea diver or a Weber smoker...you win if you guessed either of those.

("under wear"....get it?)

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This is a vending machine that sells live crabs....it ain't from around here....

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I am shocked! SHOCKED!!!

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????????????????????????????????????????????

("kill", "free spirit", "struggling", "boner"......and "wasn't out of control"....
...I MEAN DAMN, YA'LL!!!!!) 
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Explain this....I dare you....

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Uh-oh, looks like somebody lost a bet...

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"How high's the water, Momma?"

"Bus seat high and risin'."

HAHAHAHAHA......"Bus seat high and rinsin'....HAHAHAHA!!!!
(think Johnny Cash)
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It's the sweater that makes this kind of weird...

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 Last month, Togo's national soccer team traveled 3,500 miles from West Africa to the Persian Gulf, where they played a match against the national team of Bahrain. Bahrain won easily, 3-0. Bahrain's coach noted that the Togo players were not fit enough to play 90 minutes. The Togo's soccer federation said that the team was a complete fake and that Togo had not sent any footballers to Bahrain.

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My ambition is only handicapped by my laziness.
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There is a website that allows you to get images for misspelled searches on Google. This one asks: Do you mean "BATTLESHIP"? That's funny. Give it a minute.

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The federal government is now going to provide free cell phones to poor people.
Pissed off yet?
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I'm can't let that thought go yet....The ship of State is sinking, and it's sinking fast. The old concept of getting ahead through hard work has flown out the fucking outhouse window.
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And, GODDAMNIT what's up with people who either bought a house they can't pay for, or took second or third or fourth mortgages to buy boats or TV's, and these fucking morons get some of MY MONEY to help them out?!?!?! I did everything right. I bought a house I could afford, I refinanced down to 15 years and paid it off in 11. Do I get help? Noooooo.
Well, I'm pissed. And pleeeeeeeeez, somebody leave a comment explaining why I'm a cold hearted capitalist......pleeeeeeeez.
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This is a giant floating Monopoly board............well, of course it is....

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Oh, look, something you've never seen before...hopefully....

Psssst....he is not blowing on her hands.

(I know there was a blow-job joke, but I was strong enough to resist)
(I just want to know what the fuck is being done to him on the other side of that wall to get the poor motherfucker to do that on command. We with active imaginations cringe.)

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I don't know whether this is sad or stupid.....so I'll call it sadpid.

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Please do take the time to read these warnings....they are a hoot...

 "....unable to remember....."........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!!

THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT, YOU IDIOT!!!!

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THE WEIRD "GUY PART"

At least she has running water, sewage, and a "I love Mahmoud Ahmadinejad" bracelet, and I don't even want to know what that is on the edge of the sink....wax lips or some sort of Middle Eastern vaginal thing that hasn't even been named yet? 

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I have not received any complains from female readers about my scantily clad vixens (revived "GUY PART") in my posts; however, I have received several "Thank You's" from guys. I don't really get off on this stuff you understand. It's hard to get excited about sex what with your wife lying there with that oxygen tube below her nostrils and that colostomy bag to maneuver out of the......arena. You try that shit sometimes.
Oh, my....I said, shit.....I made a little pun.
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One of my weirder very own....

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This afternoon I spent the afternoon watching NFL at one of my favorite bars in Five Points. At one point I noticed that there were four men at the bar with me and all four of them were bald...two by choice who shaved it all off and two with ridiculously insulting comb-overs.  What's up with that? Anyway, all four of them were texting AT THE SAME TIME!...and not to each other!!!!
I have nothing personal against texting, but while they were viewing images of some friend's breakfast, I was discussing the cholera outbreak in Haiti with a man I had just met  who works in that denuded land and has just come back for a reunion with his wife. He still hasn't decided if the pay is worth him going back now. And he wanted my opinion. That kind of shit is real hard to do with a text.
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