FUN WITH LANGUAGE: Part Two

Bit of a slugabed today after watching my Gamecocks beat Kentucky. Leah came over for the game and we had a ball. Now this morning it's window open weather and a one o'clock appointment to watch NFL with an old and dear friend. Another good day.

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A heap of sand minus one grain is still a heap of sand.

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 I can honestly say that I have never been unfucked.

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Song: I Hate Every Bone In her Body But Mine
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For high blood pressure I simply cut myself and bleed for a few minutes. But keep in mind that I'm intensely stupid.

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If your wife bitches about the toilet seat being left up, try pissing in the sink...that will shut her up.

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You can avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables if you can talk someone else into holding them....usually a child.

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Song: She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

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I Ain't Never Gone to Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few

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I don't want to guess.

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My USC Gamecocks are changing their mascot to the Opossum because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

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If a tomato is actually a fruit, isn't ketchup technically a smoothie?

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Q: What's sex without love?
A: Sex.

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 I predict that all those young people with those Japanese characters tattooed on their bodies would run into the same translation problem if they went the Japan or China.

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 One does not simply walk into Wal-Mart. There is evil there that does not sleep.

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God pre-punishes evil people extensively during childhood.

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Well, that's one way to coruscate one's frustrations.

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I think we ought to have a National Draw Mohammed Day.
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One of my very own...

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