SERIOUS THOUGHTS....HONESTLY

Today I had a lengthy conversation with a man who is about my age. Somehow the topic turned to Alzheimer's. He shared his thoughts with me and I shared my thoughts with him; and now, I am going to share them with you.


First, his experience.


My friends' father had to put my friend's grandfather into a home because of Alzheimer's. After a length of time, the grandfather died; at which point my friend's father told my friend that if he (the father) ever came down with the same condition, the son was to take him out (and he gave a specific location) and shoot him in the ear with their single shot 410 shotgun.


I then explained to my friend my thoughts on the matter. 


I have people whom I know and respect who travel to see loved ones who do not recognize them. During these visits most of the time is utilized in trying to "un-addle" the old person, which, it seems to me, only makes it worse. I would even surmise....only makes the old person MORE uncomfortable.  I further postulated that the visits were not so much for the healthy relative to offer aid, but to allow a safety valve for the relatives' guilt at having to put there mom or dad in the home to start with. I will state immediately that there is no need for them to feel guilt, but that it's only....natural....pervertedly.


I will state right now that if I ever get in a nursing home for people whose minds are gone, then I WANT NO VISITOR'S WHATSOEVER....unless I become cogent enough to call and request your presence. 


However, prior to that fate, I have requested my wife to video tape me in the early onset of this vile affliction, and then show it to me when I have returned to the land of the not so loony. I want to see the weird shit that I said and did with my own eyes, then she should allow me to do to myself what my friend's father asked him to do in paragraph three.....only I will probably use drugs....a shotgun is too messy.


My friend then said that his father did, in fact, contract the disease and was put in a home very similar to the one his grandfather had been placed. My friend then confessed that watching his father, a once proud, virile man sink further and further into....insanity, made him regret not following the man's simple instructions. And my friend cried at what he perceived to be his own weakness. Watching him sob was one of the most touching moments of my life.


That man, his father and I would rather be dead not so much to avoid our own years of confusion....but to avoid our loved ones having to watch that shit. 


If I fall under the dark, surreal cloud of that dread affliction, please, one of you have the guts to allow me to have what will be my last request. Let me do it my way.


Thank you.