IMAGES THAT MADE ME SHOUT "DAMN!"

I like this post. I gleaned every strange thing in my files and selected the ones that at least made my brows raise.

Hope you enjoy.

Oh, the humanity!!!!

Speaking of dicks....

Hangovers are god's way of saying you kicked ass last night.

It's my guess that this young woman has an ambulance ride in her near future....

I struggle with my laziness. I'm, like, "Should I sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing?"

How do deaf people wake up in the morning in time for work?

This is a portrait of the band "Black-Eyed Peas" made out of black-eyed peas....

Donald trump is demanding to see Osama bin Laden's death certificate. 

This is a landscape made out of...well....landscape...

Unemployed? Why not experiment with drugs?

This is a Rotary Smartphone that actually works....

Oh, the burden....

TRUE:

 DAMN!!!

The human body was designed with a toxic waste pipeline adjacent to a recreation area.

Take a look at this photo. If you see nothing odd, then highlight between the brackets below...

 [ The shadow "draws" a man's face. ]

(This is hardly the least constitutional of all the laws we've seen lately. Just wait until they declare it illegal to own gold like they did in the 1930's.)

Any ideas???

Who thinks up this shit....I mean...DAMN!

There is so much wrong with this picture I don't even know where to begin....but notice that one of them - the non-mocker - is in possession of a loaded weapon! Yeah, damn....

TRUE:

There is a joke in there somewhere.

When I say "I love dogs", this IS NOT WHAT I MEAN!!!

Guess what Patrick Molesti has been charged with 29 counts of.....go ahead....guess.

We could say that China really has the biggest military,

 ...since we bought ours with their money.

TRUE:

This is a demo car whose body is plexiglass. And it really runs and it was report has 63 miles on it.

What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

This looks freaky, but it's really only a child's skull showing his adult teeth growing in....

But when you think about it...that is a bit freaky.


TRUE: I know a young man who sits on the committee to design this....

This is why I always have a cooler of beer in my truck...

"The floss proctologists recommend most"....

Some people are afraid of death, failure or pain. Me? I'm terrified that I will soil my pants while accepting my Pulitzer Prize and people will laugh and promise to remember it until the day they die.

These folks had their skulls reshaped since birth. I think they did that to gain favor from their god....You think it worked?

A guy sent me a collection of weird sex toys. Here are the three weirdest....

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Goddamnit, you can't make this shit up!!!

This had to be made by a woman...look carefully....

(it's a brain....get it?)

There are just too many of these freaks for me to spend much time on them, but this guy has taken it to a whole new level....you think he got any hugs when he was young?

Speaking of mutilating one's body, I know it will sound very strange, but this particular scarring thing is...well... sort of beautiful....

And they lived happily ever after....I mean, doesn't he look happy?

????? This just looks creepy...

Wasps make great pets...as long as you don't fucking move.

TRUE:  This armless man just made the US Olympic Archery Team.  Well played, sir, well played....

We need to make books cool again. So if you go home with somebody and they don't have books, then don't fuck them.

 ( ...from a tiny village...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

If the war in Iraq has taught us anything, it's that when you pull out, you can expect a mess.

I'm just going to leave this without comment.....

Maybe it's just the beer talking, but I want you to know that I really love beer.


The only way to explain this is that the $100 she asked him for is in his mouth and he is just toying with her....

The human body's response to love are pupil dilation, sweaty palms, and increased heart rate....the exact same response that the body gives off when experiencing deep fear.

I've also tired of these....goofs made while texting, but this one made me laugh out loud...

What if the light we see at the end of the tunnel when we die is really us just being pushed out of our mom's vagina into our next life?

That the satellite is 438 miles up does not impress me. I thought those things could read a newspaper or some such shit.


IHOP is expanding into Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Lebanon, Qutar, UAR, Oman, Bahrain, and Egypt. That is all.


No details about this, but you have to admit, it's very powerful...

Michele Bachmann is the female candidate for people who find Sarah Palin too intellectual.


Those guys get all the best seats...

Betty White's tip for living a long life: Get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep....9 if you're ugly.

Electron microscope of an ant with a microchip....yeah, cool as shit....

My mind is a whore, but my body is not.

Just another thing to worry about.....

Is it just me or when a real fat person gets on the elevator, do you check the number of people, do the math and check the "Weight Limit" sign?


TOON OF THE DAY

One of my very own....

(goddamn I love that gag)

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,

BUT PROBABLY AREN'T....

And lastly...and seriously...
Item 1: The clip I sent out has Samuel L. Jackson in the forward telling a story where he told his daughter to 'Go the fuck to sleep'. Further, his daughter repeated the phrase to him later.
Item 2: There is a huge demand in America to have a cultural centric education. The reasoning being that a white teacher (unless trained in such things) can not understand the black culture and its.....special requirements.
Item 3: In the school where I taught for 20 years, a child could be suspended for "cursing".
Item 4: I don't like obeying rules made by long dead people whom I have never heard of and/or never asked me for advice.


Commentary that I hope ties in to all 4 items: 
I don't want to sound too much like several stand up comics, but how is it that in the land of the free and liberty and all that, that I will probably be arrested for saying a word in public that is deemed by someone, somewhere to be....what? Offensive? They don't arrest black guys for calling each other Nigger, and that is supposed to be one of the most offensive words around. 
Seriously, who decided that I can yell 'vagina' but I can be arrested for yelling 'cunt'?" I will not bore you with all the substitute words for parts of the anatomy, or waste products we egest or acts of reproduction.  Not only do you all know these words already, but you all use these words already.  
My point is...as always...who the fuck made this shit up and why? Is it thought that users of such words are crass? Well, we (Americans) are crass and proud of it! Does it "offend" the powerful blue bloods who were (even in America) born and trained to deem themselves in an elevated social ranking and thus superior to us peons who have to be controlled? Well, fuck those cocksucking motherfuckers! 
I am an American. I want to be able to act like an American. Free speech will offend some people, some time, some place. But come on, ya'll, it's free fucking speech and it's pretty fucking important.....or it used to be.
Thank you.