FOLIO OLIO: SOME GOOD AND SOME NOT SO GOOD IDEAS

SOME GOOD IDEAS

BIKE REPAIR: If you want people to start riding bikes in your city, this is a damn good idea....

But I wonder why the tools are secured at the top. It seems that would limit their mobility.

Cairo (CNN) - A senior Egyptian general admits that "virginity checks" were performed on women arrested at demonstrations this spring.

Why hasn't somebody invented this before? You open the curtain and wa-la, there's your towel.

A review of a movie on Netflix: "Roughly, the first hour and a half of this 90 minute film was awful."

I don't eat anything that grows out of the dirt. Here we have bananas....but they hang from trees....a big, big difference, that.

There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

I don't know who invented pizza and I don't care. I just hope he died a millionaire...

A million dollar prize was offered to any university that could explain why the end of a man's penis was helmet shaped. Oxford researchers concluded that it was to give the man more pleasure during intercourse. Cambridge researchers concluded that it was to give the woman more pleasure during intercourse. The winner was Dublin University. Their researchers retired to a pub, drank a pint of Guinness and concluded it was to your hand from slipping off.

I love breakfast more than you can imagine. This is my breakfast of choice, even the potatoes. But, you see, they don't grow out of the dirt...they grow IN the dirt...
but sometimes I like grits. If you don't know what grits are....get off my blog...you don't belong here...

Here is my wife cookin' up some grits for me....

TRUE: My friend, being a magistrate in South Carolina, wanted to perform his niece's wedding in Florida, but his credentials were void. So he went on like, answered five questions and after paying a few bucks was sent a document making him an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church.

I like trees. These are amazing...

These are living shelters....

There was no explanation with this image. I have yet to determine if it's natural or manmade. Any guesses?

And here's a treehouse, because I like treehouses...

No one who has ever known true love knows how to get along with it once it is gone. I found that hunting songbirds with a flamethrower helps fill the void.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Do want...

Did you know British coins would do this?
Neither did I.

Okay, listen up. This is an alarm clock that is GUARANTEED to get you out of bed. As soon as the alarm goes off, it very slowly starts to shred your money.
I assume you have to put it across the room.

This is a urinal with a forehead rest. If you don't see the brilliance of this, you really ought to get out more.
(refer to Monday's "In Defense of Alcohol Abbuse")

This is cool as shit....

You might want to read all of this....

Irresistible!

Problem solving at it's finest...

My wife and I have a book like this tucked in among the dozens and dozens of others. It's red. When we get some mad money we put it in the red book. Then we invented a new verb.

"Let's go to the beach."

"How are we going to pay for it?"

"We'll just red book it."

NOW SOME IDEAS THAT COME UP LACKING

This is what it looks like when you and your buddy are overheard at a mixed-culture meeting telling a racist joke.

Recalling my distaste for food that grows out of the dirt, I find this appalling....

Trees....who needs 'em....

If you meet a girl who shows you pictures of her old bedroom....

And her birthday parties, and they look like these...

RUN! This bitch is going to be very high maintenance.

This looks like something my wife would have requested I traverse back when she was planning my demise...

I thought she had abandoned her plan to kill me, but then last night (TRUE) she took me to a party....WITH......NO.....ALCOHOL. Ralph at a dry party. Yeah, I couldn't believe it either.
Of course, I had a cooler in the truck.

(Note to all men of drinking age: ALWAYS TAKE A STASH)

There are thousands of this kind of shit on line. It's called Engrish or some such shit; the funny mistakes China makes in ripping off our ideas. I have become inured to them.