FOLIO OLIO: GOOD IDEAS....OR NOT...

A Joke:
Man wakes up in a hospital room and his doctor tells him he has been in an awful accident and will survive, but that his penis was shredded....yes, shredded. (two words that no man wants to hear in one sentence)
The doctor tells him that the insurance company has agreed to pay $10,000 to repair the damage, and that it works out to $1,000 an inch; so the man should talk it over with his wife and decide how many inches he wants and to let the doctor know what should be done the next morning.
The next morning the doctor asks the man what they have decided and the man says, "We have decided to go for granite counter tops."

My father used to tell us about the first road maps. Everyone, of course, had a Model T and the maps would say things like "Go 1.3 miles, turn right a red barn", etc.

He also said that any trip of more than an hour you were almost guaranteed to have a flat.
He said that for centuries the road was used by horses and horses wore shoes and shoes were secured by nails and the nails would fall out.
I bet you didn't know that.

Red meat is not bad for you.
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Reality is only an illusion.
That occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

I really, really like simple solutions. This is a good one.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

This is a credit card sized razor.

Welcome to South Carolina.
Set your watch back 20 years.

I didn't know about the Lightning Bolt....did you?

I read that a suicidal twin killed her sister by mistake.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

This was not shopped...

The Unnecessary Dog....what a great phrase...

I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad,
I take something for it.

No............NO!

I think insane people are hilarious.

This is a robot that makes cookies. They made a big deal about it, but haven't they been making cars for years?

I can't decide if my wife is fabulous in bed or if I just give really good directions.

Where the fuck is the motor?

Cleavage: Something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.

You don't have to read the article...just look at that fucking wheel...

This is a public speaking award at a school....

This human brain is extraordinary...

Believe it or not, the above is made of four perfectly round circles.

This ya-hoo "guessed" at a true-false test, insuring that he get 50%.
Look at it carefully.

C?!?!?!

A very expensive pizza warmer...

A passive-aggressive notice to leave on the windshield of drivers...

These are stickers that go on your eyelids if you want to sleep where you're not supposed to...

Fear: the state of knowing pretty well what's going on.

Yes, yes, yes....

When you say the word "poop", your mouth does the same motion your butt hole does when pooping.
But when you think about it, it does the same when you say "explosive diarrhea".
(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!)

TOONS OF THE DAY...