FOLIO OLIO: HUMAN EXPRESSIONS

I have taught thousands of children. I like children and by all indications, they like me. But I also respect them. I realize they are very, very fragile.

I can't stand shit like this. How could anyone.....

TRUE: I once had a 11 year old little girl in my class who was kidnapped by three men, raped, beaten, and pissed on before being thrown in a river to die. She, thankfully, didn't.
I cried a little every time that shattered little thing walked into my room.
(and before you start thinking that you saw that in a movie, that is where the DA suggested they got the idea....from a goddamned fucking movie - like a recreation)

Gosh, what could this man be thinking?

And then there's this....

"Oh, look, Harold, our neighbor has his camera out....again...."
"Fuck you, Martha."

Being from the South, I was 21 years old before I found out that a track and field event wasn't a NASCAR race.

Oh, look, Rosemary had her baby....

The reason I don't worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I'll take those odds every fucking day.

A Tibetan monk discovers a dead guy in a train station...

(did you notice the drabness of the clothing? Not to downplay an old guy dying, but does everyone in China wear brown or black? What's up with that?)

Oh..............my.......oh, my.........oh, my.......

America the land of the free? We have more prisoners per capita than any other country in the world. Today 1 out of 3 of us will spend time in jail....FUCKING TRUE!!!
That tells me one thing: We are over criminalized.
(TRUE: I informed the folks at the American Legion of the above fact and they were stunned; until I asked every one in the room to raise their hands if they had spent time in jail. I raised my hand along with about ninety percent of the room. Point made. Slam dunk.)

"What do you mean you have already taken the picture...I....I wasn't ready."

This, gentle reader, is a Banksy. It's called Cardinal Sin, and don't forget to squint. Amazing.

People couldn't believe Dumbledore was gay, but they had no problem in believing he was a wizard.
Wizards don't exist; gay people actually exist.
Go figure.

Who's the guy with the side arm?

Speaking of music...

I once sent a very dear friend a YouTube of an opera aria and warned him that it made me cry. He emailed back that it should make everyone cry.
I really get into opera and it's manipulation of my emotions.
You should try it some day.

Speaking of...
I know this is awful. I know it uses stereotypes best left unexplored.
But, goddamnit, it fit in here so fucking perfectly I couldn't resist.

Dear, dear gentle readers, as per last entry, I make fun of everyone...except this motherfucker. Next to Stephen Hawking, this is my vote for the smartest guy on the planet. I will watch ANYTHING on TV that he is on.

Oh, did I mention he's an atheist?

Do you remember when Christmas lights were unionized and when one of them didn't work, none of them did?

What if Santa is real, but there are no nice children?
Just askin'.

Does this man look like he's grieving?

Well, it looks like Albert is pleased with his little project...

Clever crossword clue: They are given the third degree.
_ _ _ _
[ PhDs ]

Domestic violence. I will never be able to understand it.

Being from the South, I were taught from birth never to hit a girl. I think that is good advice. Pass it on.

Being goofy. God I love it...

When I taught elementary art, from time to time I used to tell my students that today we were going to Goofy Land. That told them that there were no "right" or "wrong" solutions to the potentials laid out for them to explore. It gave them permission to go full bore and take the tools to the extreme. The youngest (5 year olds) used to squeal with glee over this. The older kids knew that Going to Goofy Land was the hardest part. Yeah, I knew what I was doing.
I experience their terror every time I face a new canvas.

TRUE: A guy wrote of himself in the biography for his book: "...and art burned inside his head until he could contain them no more and this masterful piece of work was born."
(pssst, go fuck yourself)
I may have told you before, but the hardest part about writing for me is figuring out when a book was finished. I could fuck around with them for...oh, ever. I like to use the phrase "when it is ready to live on it's own" when I decide to let a book go out into the world without further alteration.

Never make fun of Jesus in a Walmart or he (or she) will blur your face....

This is the first time this little fella has seen his twin in three weeks....and visa versa....

(What an amazing photograph!)

This is Lady Gaga. She is a real pro at self-promotion. She can also sing.

She is (was?) a very beautiful woman.

And she started teaching herself to play the piano at age 4...

When I said I wanted to write a funny blog, they all laughed at me. Well, no one's laughing now.
(Think about that a minute)

Perky. God, how I hate perky people....

(Did you notice person 3946?)

Gay marriages need to be legalized everywhere because I would watch the shit out of gay divorce court.

There was another girl scheduled for the photograph, but the girl in the pink top ate her....

TRUE: this man was kicked out of a city council meeting in Oakland for trying to make a citizen's arrest on the whole council.

What stories this young lady had. I miss her.

"Yeah, 'CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER' all caps, right there on my ass."

Oh, look, my wife...

What kind of jerk would try to steal the limelight on a woman's 100th birthday?

Graaaaaaaandpaaaaaaaaaa?!?!

QUOTES FROM MY BARTENDER TODAY"
"When it comes to human development, music was very instrumental."
"Our lagers are good for what ales you."

Does all this gold make me look fat?

Just Frank eating a sandwich in the kitchen....

I always carry a small notebook, and this time of year every time an adult says, "You look like Santa Claus", I take out the notebook, pretend to cipher and say, "Congratulation, you are the 1,000th person to say that to me this week." I do not smile when I say it.
(moral of the story: Never....NEVER say that to a man with a white beard......pleeeeeeeeeeease)

I watched this movie last night....excellent...

When a man gets old, his mind is the second thing to go.

TOONS TO AMUSE...

NOTE: You may have noticed that many of my toons have an atheist bent to them. It's not my fault. I go to Christian sites all the time, but if those motherfuckers are one thing it is un-fucking-funny.