WEDNESDAY

"Hey, you ever watch the Mickey Mouse Club? Cause you know what today is? Today is Wednesday. It's anything can happen day."


More on the eclipse...

(psst....those aren't shadows)


As seen through a colander....

Sometimes when I'm in the shower I bend over and pose like the naked terminator traveling back through time. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg, it ruins the fantasy.

Yeah, he's that fucking cool...

I hate it when crumbs fall in my cleavage.

Real women use pink duct tape.




Freedom and liberty for all....sometimes.....only when 2000 year old long dead people says it okay....

According to a new survey, 67 percent of teenagers are content and extremely happy most of the time.
They are called "stoners".

This is fucking hilarious....

I need to go to Walmart but I can't find my pajamas.

TRUE: One of my bartenders is in bad shape and had surgery last week. His wife keeps everybody informed via daily emails. The first email asked us to pray for him.
Well, there was a complication, and again she asked for our prayers. Then another complication, and again request for prayers. Finally, after a week, he's back under the knife again and she's STILL asking us to pray.
I think that after the shit that had hit the fan WITH our prayers, I would have asked for everyone to STOP praying, cause somebody was fucking it up.




More and more young people are taking themselves off line and living off the land....

TRUE: Last night my wife was a judge at "Vista Nights; a fundraiser for a theater whereby straight men dress up like women. It's a hoot....mostly because my wife is there.
She took a horse crop with her as a prop and while she strolled around the contestants on stage she would lift up the back of their skirts, run the crop up their ass crack and made them smell it. She brought the house down.
By the by, she talked her good friend, the chief of police, into participating.




My, my, what have we here?

You only live once, so try not to fuck it up too bad.




TRUE: Back when I used to give lectures to large numbers of people, I would walk out on stage and pretend I was naked......
(That is absolutely factual)

This is a practice dummy for Japanese dentists....

TRUE: I had some dental work don't recently. It involved me being put to sleep, so my wife had to be there to drive me home. As soon as we arrived, the nurse offered a form and said, "This is to certify that you haven't eaten or had anything to drink in 4 to 8 hours."
I accepted the pen and prepared to sign when my wife said, "Wait, wait! What about dinner last night?! What about lunch yesterday?!"
The nurse looked very confused, but I knew exactly what the problem was and said, "4 to 8, not 48." 
Further, why do they give you an option of 4 to 8? If 4 is the absolute cut-off, then why not just say 4?




I changed my mind on capital punishment and am now firmly agin it. It's not only the certainty that mistakes will be made, but the staggering costs....

What a fucking image.

The look on the faces! The most powerful men on earth toe to toe....

This is a very funny man....

Never have understood the whole anarchy movement.
I don't think it means what they think it means...but, of course, I'm well armed.....

Interesting....

Everyone should realize this...

My cable guy was 30 minutes late the other day. He apologized greatly. I told him that I understood that the last job he had took longer than he expected and I knew that he wasn't sitting in a bar chugging Bud Light. He was amazed at my laid-backness.


This man has been criticized for acting like a human being.
I salute him for it.

I don't understand the big deal with porn. I would much rather my children watch two people making hot monkey love than watching two people behead other people....

I have mixed emotions over surveillance, but considering I am buying a drone for our police department, I guess I've come down on the side of public safety...

"Can't concentrate? Do I got a camp for you."

- Hitler

I find the power of the mind most fascinating....

I mean, even when TOLD it's a placebo they still work!


An astronaut meal....

One of the most frightening things I have ever seen....

Riot? No. Mosh pit....

I like this very much...

If you don't love photography as much as I do, then many of my images may be lost on you. I hope not.
Just study them and maybe you will learn something.

That is called atmospheric perspective. The mist makes the objects appear fainter and fainter the farther away they are.
I painted a mural of a cedar swamp one time and started in the back with very light trees and worked my way across the 60' wall. Then I darkened the paint and repeated the process with darker and slightly larger trees. After eleven trips it looked exactly like the swamp.
Notice that as the trees get closer, the bases look lower on the picture plane.


This is a censor towel...

Highly motivated man, he......

I once convinced a friend that he could get high by rubbing toothpaste on his nipples.

"Kenneth, what is the frequency?"




Posted this previously, but thought you needed to have blow-ups of what the signs read....

I find all that extremely sad.


Have you ever spelled Tulsa backwards?

Don't ask me why I drink. Ask yourself why you don't.

YouTube has a video of 10,000 people singing Beethoven's "Ode to Joy". You might want to look it up.

Submitting manuscripts to publishers is a very depressing affair....

It stated that these boots were for sale.....

TRUE: I have been asked for my autograph. I used to think that when your signature turned to an autograph, you had made it. I was wrong.

I once got out of jury duty by being the defendant.