About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, June 18, 2012

MONDAY, MONDAY


I painted a series of murals in an old mill that had been turned into a shopping mall. I managed to sneak in an image very similar to this to remind people that the 'good old days' were not all that good for everybody.


NOTE: Some of you may wonder why I don't have more photographs of my murals to share when commenting as per above. Well, the problem is that I have tens of thousands of images, but they are all in slide form.


I have painted a dozen or so murals of trains. I learned that the engines are coded as per the configuration of the wheels. For instance, this one has four little wheels in the front, six large ones in the middle and four smaller ones in the back; thus, it's a 4-6-4. You're welcome.


Each day comes with 86,400 seconds.......tick.....tick.....





I often laugh at extremely inappropriate times. Not because I'm nervous or anything....mainly because I think inappropriate things are funny.




I see what they've done there...


I just ran my first marathon this morning.
Just kidding. I'm on my sixth beer and it ain't even noon yet.




I like watching "experts" fuck up.


When my wife and I go out of town, we get a house sitter. The one we have now sucks, but I keep using her because I'm too lazy to teach anyone else how to work our ridiculously difficult remote control.





Ever since I watched Lost, I only sit in the front half of the plane.




Two gay Israeli soldiers. That is all.


When you clap, you high-five yourself for something someone else has done.




I bet that kid never wets the bed.....


Speaking of fathers....a couple of things I've stumbled upon......


For me, this is oh so very true....


Bingo....
I just hope my kids appreciate me sticking around after their mom got fat.


Watched this ultraviolet film of two Romanian men trying to rob a moving truck from the hood of the moving van....they couldn't get the doors open.....


Notice that it's still plugged in...

The first bad parenting pic on the interweb....and it's had legs for a couple of decades....."had legs"...I made a little pun.

This "boat" has a large cooler and a BBQ grill....
Am I the only one to notice that there is only one woman in the picture.......she must charge extra for this.


I've decided that my next wife is going to be a black woman....


I wonder how many "normal" women would pose naked if they were allowed to wear a mask? Does that make me a bad person?




One of my very own....


On-line classes....you gotta love 'em......


I think it should be legal to kill stupid people.





There is no tooth fairy.
Storks don't deliver babies.
The invasion of Iraq was illegal.
And Jesus wasn't white.





And not a single fuck was given that day....


There is a wrist watch that counts down how much time you are likely to have left before your death.





When something goes wrong, blame it on the guy who doesn't speak English.





Notice the green spaces. I'm fer it.....


It should be illegal to skinny dip............alone.



Let's take a closer look.....
She took it well, don't you think.


Another of my very own....


I've tried for months to communicate with my neighbor's Mexican yardman. Then yesterday he turned off the leaf blower. When I asked him why he hadn't done it sooner, he said it was the song of his people.





You remember this?


Stark raving mad, they were.....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!



From the look of the landscape, it looks like these idiots have a long way to go....notice front left tire...


She may not look like it, but this is one smart lady...


I'm a sucker for cheap shots like this.....
('sucker' may have been a bad choice of words)

Speaking of penises......


If this is not shopped, it's very good....


Speaking of tattoos......








He better not ever go to prison....

I wish more people broke the rules.....


Wife told me she was sick and tired of my outdated, sexist views on women's reproductive rights and equal pay.
Bitch was probably on the rag.




This is called the Monkey Faced Orchid....I don't know why....


Your chance of getting laid just dropped to absolute zero...


"Hello, Mom, Timmy's parents are home."


You see anything just a little odd about this?













Do you think he ate the guy who used to wear those shoes?

It's called a pelvic bridge and it's a good thing....


Girls even make acute narcissism cute.....


Read an article about the Chinese's love of "power naps"...


Let's learn something, shall we?
How small the poles get is easy enough - you just draw a line from the biggest to the shortest.
But notice that as they get farther away, they appear to get closer together. To determine where the next pole goes, you find the mid-point of the second pole, then draw a line from the top of the previous pole, through the mid-point of the second pole and where this line touches the ground, that is where the third pole goes. Then just continue to the last pole.




I've always liked these. There for a while I thought they were making a comeback, but no....


This took me a second or two....

Believe it or not, this guy (because of his oddness) gets more dates than any other guy in his town....TRUE....
....of course, he ain't from around here.

Despite scientific evidence that advices against it, my wife still likes to sun bathe....

Shit has just got real, ya'll....


There's never enough time to do all the nothing I want.




Try not to cringe....

Then there's this....


 That means it's a pistol that shoots shotgun shells with a barrel that is designed to spread the pattern at close range.

And it shoots my favorite....000 buck shot.


Oh, and it shoots a .45 caliber slug also.


And as you can tell by the pictures on the lower left on the box above, it will take down a cat and small aircraft.



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