About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, July 13, 2012

FRIDAY



They always invite one(1) black guy to play the "Yohowthesemotherfucingthingswork" roman candle game.....
Look, dude, the motherfucker is about to blow is balls off. That's funny no matter what color you are.
We all know that.....right?..........................right?

You want creepy? I stumbled on creepy!


A nation's greatest resource is it's people.
The people's greatest resource is their health.
Health is expensive.
Ergo: Hand out money to everybody.




If you think you or anything you believe is above ridicule, then that's your problem, not mine. Taking yourself too seriously is very dangerous. Lighten up....please....


This man is Ed Butowsky. On the sites I visit often you can't throw a dead cat without hitting Ed Butowsky. I have no idea who he is or why he is funny.


In a country where it seems impossible to teach children how to read, why in the name of John Philip Sousa are we taking the time to teach them how to play the recorder?




Does it disturb anyone else that "The Los Angeles Angels" baseball team translates directly to "The The Angels Angels"?

Yes, little fella, it is racist as shit. What you gonna do about it?



Besides "Like" and "Dislike", there needs to be a "Wow that's the dumbest fucking thing I've heard of and you should be punched in the throat" button.




Urgent announcement from the folks at the Haydron Collider.......


I need a little help with this one, gentle readers......


As a blogger, I want to take this opportunity to say in an official capacity that I don't give a shit about Tom and Kate. I don't care if Tom is a gay stripper on his nights off and into witchcraft and breeds with unicorns; and Katie had to tunnel her way out of the basement dungeon where Tommy had her stored for baby making purposes, but day by day she clawed a few more feet until she was able to reach the sunshine.
I............don't...........care.




Two of my very own....


The Mile High Club...is that kind of like giving a flying fuck?


This is part of an instructional package shown in early theaters. I find it........awkward.....
(That gives me visions of porn viewing inappropriateness)


There are no cases in recorded history of elevators simply free-falling and killing the passengers inside....I think.






Whoever came up with the phrase "The freaks come out a night" has clearly never been to Walmart during the day.





I try to stay in shape by doing yoga every day. And by "doing yoga" I really mean putting on my shoes.





Did you ever notice that the peace sign kind of looks like a modern air liner?




One man's obsession.....



Wouldn't you like to know what the "voice" would say if you shot the bird?


CLUE: Word before rip and slip.
_ _ _
[ LET ]
(that took me much longer than it should)


27% of Sudanese Army has been wounded....true....


They really are blue. I've seen glaciers bluer than the sky...




Tell me if I'm over-thinking this:
Watching a show on snipers and it was stated that you even had to calculate the rotation of the earth in shots of two miles because at the equator during the 2 1/2 second bullet flight time, the target is moving at 1000 mph.
But if the shooter and the bullet are also moving at 1000 mph, wouldn't they cancel each other out?





Men, you know you're in love when you can still stand her even without your dick in her.




I regret that I will never be able to do this....


Batteries: Turning dildos into vibrators since 1905.




To me, this is scary as shit....the blank canvas as it were...


I like this. It certainly beats giant words....


The best laid plans....

A lot of people tell me that if I were a sultry young black woman, I'd look like her...


"A man, a plan, diazepam."





You can't make this stuff up, folks.....

What a wonderful environment....
But did you notice there's no plumbing in the tub holes?



Honey, I think I know how to improve your Facebook photos.......


American Airlines saved $44,000 in 1987 by eliminating on olive from each salad served in First Class.



This is the "Do you still have emotions left" test portion of this post....

Chilling. Ab-so-fucking-lute-ly chilling....

There are no winners, just those who suffer less...



Clockwork Organge, circa 874 BC?
 
One in five children will experiment with paleontology. 





It's been a long time coming. In fact, it is still not here yet.

Sarcasm: I'd turn pro if there was a league.




Worth the read...



Cape Cod...not so laid back anymore...


I have problems with the numbers....
I would say that a whole bunch of people, when asked, will just say the same thing they've always said without giving it a moment's thought. They may never go to church, don't believe in the myths anymore and follow none of the tenets of their religion, but they still answer Christian because....................it's easy.


A crucifix tramp stamp....something you don't see everyday...
















This is what I look like when.....well, to be honest, this is the way I look most of the time....
....especially when the wife tells me I have to stand up so she can vacuum under my chair.


Clint Eastwood dog...



DON'T FORGET, I NOW HAVE A SATURDAY POST.


AND THEN THERE'S THIS...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Saw a quote today you might like.
If steroids are illegal for athletes, photo shop should be illegal for models.

Scout J said...

Neutron goes into a bar and asks "How much for a drink?"
Bartender looks him over and says "For you, there's no charge."

(Neutrons being neutral and all...)

Margaret said...

A pre-op transsexual tells a guy, '
" ya' know, I think I am going to go ahead with this whole surgery thing". Guy says, " Hole surgery? You'd think they would come up with a fancier name than that for it."

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