About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

THURSDAY




That reminds me of something that happened the other day. A friend of mine was mailed a $200 ticket for throwing a cigarette butt out of his car window. The citation was issued because a fellow citizen ratted him out with a simple phone call. This worries me.
Think of the possibilities for abuse. I don't like you, so I call in a false report. Then you can either pay the $200 or take a day off work to take it to trial.
I don't care how you feel about littering, you should hate everything about this. What if the government decides that people who criticize the government "may" be dangerous and asks citizens to report anyone who says nasty things about the governing?



I have found that I employ the same bloodcurdling scream whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.




Something you don't see everyday....


When you close the wrong tab, hit Ctrl + Shift + T.
You're welcome.


Powerful, this....
Did you notice the doll's hair?


Tom Cruise divorced? I wish him the best of luck in reaching the thermostat on his own.




I can name every item except the top handle...garlic crusher?


If we are all created in god's image, then wouldn't being a narcissist be a good thing?




Wouldn't you love to see their customers after a few decades of use....


I still pretend that the raindrops on the window are in a race for the bottom.






This photo has been all over the interweb.
No idea why or even if it's interesting. Anybody know the story behind it?


It drives me up the wall when people sprinkle the phrase "You know what" throughout their conversation. I always begin to share some minutia of something I'm pretty sure they don't know.




New York traffic stopped for mother cat....


Life is too short to be busy.



Welcome to America...


I think that somebody ought to invent spray-on headbands.



These guys were invited to a Cowboy and Indian party...


The only wine I'll ever buy is called "Second Cheapest".




I should have thought of this....


And this...


If there is a hell and I go there, it will consist of me following a woman around a Bed, Breakfast and Beyond forever looking for a toilet seat cover.



There are thousands of these....I actually liked this one...


If your arm can't fit down a Pringles can, it's time to stop.



The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog....
 

Mixed message.....


First guy to compete in Special and regular Olympics...
I have said that the guy who invented these "legs" should have won a Nobel Prize. Cheap, no moving parts, easy to learn to use, extraordinarily effective.....damn!

This research ship can float horizontal and vertical...
 Almost impossible to sink in this position...
 Check this out....
I wonder why they didn't just center pivot everything so they could swing into the proper position.


Don't remember how he left...now I know. Friends drug him away...



A man's got to do what a man's got to do....

I knew a guy whose father gave him a beautiful Karmann Ghia, which he painted with a brush.

Wild goose chase?


Never have fully understood drying fish....I mean, wouldn't they just freeze solid?

Open flood gates at Ziaolangdi Reservoir....


I actually never knew this...


???????

 Speaking of....


Gentlemen, you might want to read this...




Movie set. I think they are discussing a detail on uniform...


 Meanwhile, in Australia...


Give this a moment or two...I didn't get it right away...



One of the sexiest scenes in moviedom....
And she got old just like the rest of us....


My criteria for sharing photos with you is this: If I were looking through a magazine and came upon an image like this, would I show it to a companion. I would share this with a friend, therefore I will share it with you.



This ought to scare the holy shit out of you...



If you don't get this, it's okay, it really is....
Believe this or not, I have been criticized for using the "it's okay" phrase above. Let me clarify.
I didn't get it the first time around. I had to refresh my memory of binary systems. Therefore it's okay if you don't get it, but a little research will solve the problem.


This is why I'm not allowed to go camping anymore...


Two of my very own...


I fucked with you during this blog. Please don't "correct" me.
When I fucked with you over the Ringo Starr dying thing, my wife freaked. Sorry about that.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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"Shall we advance the plot today, Ambrose?

Yes, Let's".

The Committee officially deems this, on record, as the most genius of wit in caption.

--Congratulations and Regards,
The Committee To Determine The Greatest "One Of My Very Own".

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