About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, July 23, 2012

MONDAY



First my take of the news.....


We are a nation that closes barn doors after the cow escapes. No....rather, we are a nation that lock all the doors in the kingdom when some lone nut steals a cow.


Rather insensitive ad placement...


 I watched the video of the old man. He pulled out a 380 just like mine and shot both armed robbers. If just one person in that theater had a concealed weapons permit....oh, wait, there was a big sign at the theater that prohibited concealed weapons.
I want to at least have a chance of fighting back, folks.

For my friend, Joe......again.....

Creationism: How fucking whacked can one get? I want some of what they are smoking.


This is from some TV show, but I thought it a great comeback....especially from an already obese preteen, wise ass ugly bitch...


I couldn't agree more. Blind allegiance to anything can be very, very dangerous....
So, this is what now passes as literature?



This took me much longer than it should have....

Sad picture #1.....
These are probably the guys who pretend to be that Nigerian prince.

Sad picture #2....
That just ain't right, ya'll.


What a beautiful image....I so hope it wasn't doctored....

Yeah, we all know what she thought......her little "visitor" had arrived unexpectedly.....
Cruel, cruel man.


Without the prude Christians, America could have funny signs like this....


People who say money can't buy happiness obviously don't know where to shop.


The human brain is amazing. It's called closure and we are very, very good at it.....
 Sad picture #3....Not one of these German soldiers returned from the Eastern Front.....no one....

TWO OF MY VERY OWN...


Joined at the.............lip............?




What unfortunate wording...
I normally only fight 2 animals at a time.


What a charming image....


I always wondered where that was.....last door on the right...


So, apparently, the Olympics have been bought and paid for....

Sebastian Coe, Chairman of the London Olympics, issued a harsh warning for spectators attending the upcoming 2012 summer games. In an interview for BBC Radio, Coe cautioned that certain apparel would bar spectators from venue entry — all in the name of protecting corporate sponsors. When asked if anyone wearing a Pepsi logo would be allowed into events, he replied with a short “No.”



My man Aaron Rogers......


There is a big difference between "startup" and "upstart".
But sometimes you can be both.


Arachnoid humor....


I have a serious question.
After somebody bungee jumps and stops bouncing, are they pulled back up or lowered to the ground?
Just wondering.



Sad picture #4....


Why test on animals when we have prisons full of pedophiles and an airport full of TSA agents?





Ad placement in the TSA trays....
Damn fucking good idea if you ask me.


Passive resistance.....

I read an article on the origins of pants.
It said that men had no need for pants until they started riding horses. It seems that when riding a galloping horse with no pants puts the testicles in great peril....if you know what I mean.....

Who is that? Tosh?


I always wondered where all those new balls came from...
BRAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
(Adds a whole new meaning to the term "Ball Girl")


Alcohol + "Watch This" = 911



(NOTE: I post many quotes I like that are credited to famous people. Without extensive research, I have no way of making sure said person actually said it. You do the research and let me know if I erred.)


Doggy Style: A sexual position which allows both participants to watch the porn.




If you don't get this, it's okay, it really is......


When I wear underwear that matches my outfit it makes me feel like I really have my life together.



They believe in aliens. Some of you believe in angels and talking animals. I call it a draw.

Shoes in History: Who would have thought.....


You can't find quality humor like this on other sites, boys and girls. Spread the word....
(I bet the Disney copyright lawyers would shit themselves over this)


At my age I can throw a breath mint in someone's mouth while they are talking and it's not even considered rude.


Once seen it can't be unseen....
Who comes up with this shit...I mean, honestly?


This is the way I look when the guy with the cooler of beer leaves the party....
(that's a damn lie. I always take my own cooler, with a backup case in the truck.....always)


You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn't? 
Nah, I don't have one of those.





Speaking of....
One day her prince will cum.



I am ready to meet my maker. Whether my maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
The first thing I would do is hit him (or at least try to) in the mouth for sticking us on a planet that never stops trying to kill us.


I wouldn't have believed this if somebody had told me this is how we would use technology. I was in a bar today and roughly half of the young people paid no attention whatsoever to the other patrons. I just don't get it.


I used not to have the balls to look at my bank balance.
Now I don't have the balance to look at my balls.




Opulence....I could get used to it...


Hey, corporations, it's "by the people", not "buy the people".





How very true....


Got this email card from a dear friend. I like it.



When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile ~ I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
When you are scared ~ I will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.
When you are worried~ I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
When you are confused ~ I will try to use only little words.
When you are sick ~ Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall ~ I will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I'll help you up.
This is my oath ..... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask ~ because you are my friend.

1 comment:

Patrick said...

Not Tosh, Neil Patrick Harris.

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