About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, August 3, 2012

FRIDAY



Who the fuck cares, as long as everybody gets fucked?!?
It is, after all, a species imperative. There, I've said it. 

Species imperative.....keep saying that and it doesn't sound the least bit nasty......it's like a rule.

I actually agree with this....


Here at Folio Olio, quality humor is our goal...our only goal.....

This is the way I look when I see my wife's chocolate chip cookies and find out they are oatmeal raisin....


I no longer call it "box wine".
I prefer "Cardboardeaux".





Traffic jam? Well, don't get all bent outta shape.....


It's like some people have a small dick because they took 3/4 of it and shoved it into their personality. And you people know who I'm talking about.





I went to sleep in my motel room after watching NOVA on PBS, so when I was packing up the next morning I was greeted by Sesame Street, which I watched and/or listened to as I loaded my truck. They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands, but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go "No, Mr. Noodles, your hands!" and all the kids would laugh.
Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn't find his hands I heard a grown man in the next room scream, "GODDAMNIT, MR. NOODLES, YOUR FUCKING HANDS!!!"




 If you give it enough time, you can make her spin clockwise or counterclockwise....


Last night I went to a fundraiser to raise money for young women going to community college......
....otherwise known as a strip club.


Red light!


A new study proved that the average Canadian says "sorry" over 45,000 times a day.




These are two perfectly round circles...
 Squint your eyes and you can see it better.

The ISS is getting an aquarium.....
Had a long conversation about this today. They live in an environment where their propulsion system should still work, don't you think? How that works in zero gravity should be quite interesting.

My daughter is working on mini-satellites, also. You "buy" space on a special carrier satellite that takes up dozens of these type things (all the exact same size) and one by one ejects them into orbit out the rear like that queen alien in that movie.

This is the man who will drive the Mars Rover....
His mother better be proud....seriously.
Here they are practicing on dunes in the Mojave Dessert.
Now let's think like a redneck...can you imagine this guy meeting a girl in a bar and she asks, "So, what do you do for a living?"
Yeah, he's going to get laid.

Some scientists use their knowledge for other things, of course....
(you think there is a way to "beat" the system?)

Medical research at it's finest...

 As I understand it, it's a porn flick...

What's with the rope thrown at him?


LET'S DO MOVIES
What's the name of the song they played?

What was his classic line?

My favorite line in all of movies.

Can you name these two movies?

The best advice I ever got from a movie.

If movie posters told the truth...

This diagram illustrates what famous movie?
[ The last scenes in 2001: A Space Odyssey ]
 
I'd suck a dick for some Chic-fil-A right about now.



 This is amazing....
I can't fucking wait!!!
I can't wait for all you smug bastards who thought it was a good idea to tax the shit out of such sinful products as cigarettes and alcohol start having fatty foods, fast food, soft drinks, chips, etc, taxed out the ass also. I can't wait to hear the whines of "It's not fair!" 
Hey, fat people, fuck you. You thought it was okay when it was just me and mine getting fucked. Well, I don't eat that shit and I think it's a wonderful fucking idea.
Maybe it will at least get your fat ass up off the couch to take to the streets in protest. I call that a win-win.

Lawn Bowling?

She said with her pants pulled down and her underwear up her crack....

Does this woman look like she thinks she's being exploited?
My money is on it being her idea.
(and if I might add, that is a fine ass)

And to all you women who do this.....thank you....
But it only counts if you see a nipple.


This child will be on the internet for the rest....of....her....life......

Dogs breaking up cat fight....
Reminds me of cops at a block party in a white trash trailer park. (now go back and look at the Lawn Bowling gif)


 ....is worth a thousand words....


People say stoners are lazy, but guess what assholes, that blunt ain't gonna pass itself!



Japan: Freak capital of the world since 1281....
You think I'm kidding?


In the unusual quotes from famous people department:
"Give me a woman who likes beer and I will conquer the world."
- Kaiser Wilhelm II
(what the fuck does that mean?)





Clue: It's crossed in time.
_ _ _
[ tee ]



In fifteen years, can you imagine the poor smuck marrying this bitch?.....and having her mother as a mother-in-law?!?!


Half of marriages end in divorce; the other half end in death. There is no up side.





Have friends with real breasts.....please.




Jackie Gleason?


I watched a movie on my iPhone at the airport that was so bad people still walked out.



This lucky motherfucker landed on his feet and walked back....


This is exactly what I looked like when we were sitting at a bar discussing the legalization of marijuana. I said that I'm even in favor of making it retroactive and releasing all those people serving time for simple possession.
The bartender said (I swear), "So if the Supreme Court said that capital punishment was unconstitutional, then you're in favor of releasing everyone on death row?"
It was not one of his better days.

Well, yes....yes, I did....


I'll see your heart attack and raise you a croissant.......

Soldiering done right....

Soldiering done wrong....


I think everyone should follow their dreams, unless, of course, you dream about waking up in a public place naked.



Now that I've retired, I've dedicated my life to not working.





So, 620 MILLION Indians were without electricity for two days.
Having shown pictures like this most of my adult life, I am surprised that it took so long.


This would have freaked me out a few years ago....
Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?
Now I am firmly in the camp of freedom....freedom to do whatever the fuck you want to do as long as it doesn't hurt another.....human.


Not only a good idea, but beautiful....
Did you know that? I didn't know that.


Back on line for a Saturday and Sunday post.


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