About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, September 28, 2012

FRIDAY ATERMOIEMENTS


(if you can't read all of this, at least skip to the very end....it will be worth it)

Early on, the phone company had booklets sent out to teach customers how to use their new telephones....most of the rules still apply....

We were all young once....

No photoshop, this.....

The art department at the University of South Carolina had one of these. Never saw it used....we just peed in the toilet...
 By the way, my SC Gamecocks are looking stellar.
Their awesome successes make me look like this....

The way every drunk looks when trying to explain that they are, in fact, not drunk....

Why do people do such things?

Yes, Gentle Reader, we were all this stupid...

I could sit and study this for hours....

It's a pity that so many drunks give the real homeless a bad name...
 Knowing that many of these homeless beings once did this only makes it more pitiful....
China, on the other hand, has their own unique solution to the problem....

Sometimes my poor life decisions look like fantastic drinking opportunities.



I don't get it....anybody?



 It concerns me that black people get so upset over imagined slights, then seem to ignore the hugh problems that face their communities....

Can you see what so amazing about this sentence?
 (each word has one more letter than the word before it)

Combination machete and wrench........okay......

Artist makes a glass Molotov Cocktail shaped like a human heart...

This deserves a repeat....

Except for the ribbon dancing.
I mean, what is that?



If you don't watch NFL football, then you will find nothing funny about the replacement referees. Here are my, I hope, last two referee gags....

But as loony as this was, let's look at the whole game.
The Packer's QB was sacked EIGHT times!!!!
The Packers were close enough to score a TD four times and ended up kicking four field goals.
And remember, they all had to go back to Wis-fucking-consin when the game was over.

Hope is life's sweetest elixir and a cunning bitch.



This is the path of Venus over a year.....

This is how my wife reacts when I tell her I'm going to take a shower before going to her parents' house...

As a professional muralist, I have my own definition of what is Art and what is art and what is bullshit. This is art (lower case) at best. 
 If you are going to "force" everyone in your city to view your art, then you better have something more important to say than your taste in movies characters.


 (that is not one of them....just fucking with you)


Watched a movie called Pompeii: The Last Day. Very good and worth the watch. I found it interesting that the people who didn't flee, thus died, were busy praying to be saved. Oh, well.



My wife is good friends with Steve Spurrier's (football coach, USC) wife. She said that they started dating in college, then eloped. On the way to the Justice of the Peace, Steve stopped by a bait and tackle shop and bought a wedding band for $10. She, despite her husband's millions, still wears it.
 (this is not her ring)




Visited this site and couldn't but help marvel at their stupidity....
 Basically, they encourage everyone not to have children to end overpopulation. What they don't know (or ignore) is that overpopulation is not our problem. Extinction is our problem. In most places on earth, the birth rate is far below the 2.1 needed just to replace the numbers we have now.
The real problem is that we are getting more and more old people with fewer and fewer young people to take care of them.

Trees. I love trees...the elephants of the plant world...

Read this and think about it a moment...
 I don't mind using my tax money to feed people or help them out when they are in need, but I live in South Carolina, and for 20 years I taught in public schools. Most of those years I supervised children who came to school early to eat a free breakfast.
First, let's define breakfast. I know what you probably think....eggs, bacon, etc. Well, not in public school. Almost every day the students had the choice of pizza, a corn dog or cold cereal.
Second, the only requirement for receiving a free breakfast was that the parents be on the food stamps program, meaning that even when having food bought for them, they still didn't feed it to their children.
I my book that's not a "need". That is a crime.


Interesting take on the whole episode....



Some people don't want anybody to have fun...

This is true folks....

Both of these pictures are the same size....




They don't make good movies like this anymore....

The problem with running into your own Mace....

The anatomy of the french kiss.....

This was the Berlin Wall....look at it carefully.....




I have been the guy on the left all my life....

My over/under date when Israel attacks Iran is December 1, 2012.
(this image has nothing to do with that statement)

Fuckin' Hitler....

THERE WILL BE A FULL POST SATURDAY

AND THEN THERE'S THIS....
My wife's stores are located in arguably the entertainment hub of Columbia, SC. Lately, (especially after football games) young drunk people hang out until all hours of the morning and, of course, there is violence.
At a news conference to address this problem with the mayor and chief of police (both her personal friends) she was interviewed by the editor of the largest newspaper in the state, based here in Columbia. Here is what he had to say......enjoy.

Note: My wife, in fact, did not say "what the hell", she said "what the fuck."
Now do you people out there in cyberland know why I love this woman so much? I have never met anyone like her. I will never match her when it comes to pure fucking grit.




1 comment:

Aaron said...

The Rubes cartoon references "Catch a tiger by his toe. If he hollers, let him go."

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