THURSDAY 9/27/12

TRUE: I just learned today that these replacement scabs are not pro refs from a lower league. Many aren't even college refs. Some were high school refs and one was a reject from the lingerie league.

Alert reader Margaret commented: Wearing ridiculously uncomfy shoes just because they look good = Shoepidity.

This is the way my dog looks at me when I get naked...

If my memory serves me properly, this is the first example of chiaroscuro in painting...from Pompeii....

What a wonderful idea.....like it could just be ignored...

FACES

Well, after all the medications, it's nice to know he no longer looks like a homicidal maniac.

"Did anybody bring an opener?"

"Well, shit!"

You can thank me later.

There's a clitoris joke in here someplace.....

A friend of mine just had a baby and swears she'll never have another one. She just wasn't ready for the commitment of uploading that many photos to Facebook.

I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 2 minutes.

I knew it! I just knew it!!

Aliens have porn also!!!!

You can't imagine how many times I've said this....

Other of my oft stated sentiments are:
"Does this story have an end?"
"Is there anything of interest to me in this story?"
"Points. All stories need one."
And my favorite: When they say (after 15 minutes) "To make a long story short." I say, "Too late."

Wait for it......

That's cool as shit.

I never will forget the first time my wife got on top. She rotated her head 360 degrees while screaming "The anti-Christ has awoken!"

Hey, women who breastfeed in public, what's with you not winking back?

Awkward....

The paper is worthless, folks. This dog is going to rise up and bite us right on the ass...

If I was still an art teacher, I would so teach this to my students....

Remember this?

This is what my TV looks like....

In addition to Casual Friday, I propose Punch a Coworker Monday; No Pants/Shirt Tuesday; Drunk Wednesday; and Call in Sick Thursday.....but maybe that's just me.

(by the way, that was a GIF and it took a long time to download. I hope it causes you no problems)

I'm pretty tired of all those kids running lemonade stands and acting like they've never even heard of vodka.

Every husband has practiced these facial expressions in the mirror.....to get them just right.....

My wife can do her makeup, paint her nail, talk on the phone and eat while driving, but I ask her to touch my dick and all the sudden she has to pay attention to her driving.

Oh, look, we have a drug dealer in the neighborhood...

Does anyone else find it odd that she puts on mascara before climbing into a fighter jet?

Christmas day in the South....

People who expect nothing are never disappointed.

Okay, public artists, pay attention. This is very close to being Art with a capital A. If you are still writing large words with stylized letters, you might want to work on your technique. I like this very much and would not mind looking at it every day of my life....

The oldest message in a bottle ever found...

This is not a water well. It is a small scale gold mine that is very, very deep. These men risk their lives to eke out the only living available...

This is a coaster...

??????

Some people just want to spoil all the fun...

This man is attempting to buy MORE beer....

If you didn't laugh at that, you might want to lighten up a little bit.

Watched a movie about aliens killing and eating people in the old West. When told that the monsters start eating the soft parts first, this man said....

Then when these two men had been fighting behind a dead horse for days, this man said, "The horse is starting to smell."
This is what subtitle did to that...

(I put almost all movies on subtitle since I don't hear so well and there is a lot of whispering in most films)

Speaking of Netflix....

Never thought I would enjoy blogging so much...but I do...

Besides the funny stuff, I like sharing images I find interesting....

TRUE: Sign language for black people and white people are different; very different.

"SERVANT'S HEART?!?!"
What the fuck does that mean?

This hills are alive....

"View of Paris", Vincent van Gogh.....

Oh, look, Obama is taking a picture.....

Just in case you couldn't figure this out for yourself...

Do you think anyone would find this a sexual invitation?

Well, maybe....

Who's the bitch now, bitch!

There's a women drivers joke in here somewhere...