About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, September 24, 2012

MONDAY 9/24/12


NOTE: Out of town all weekend, then having a camera shoved up my ass early part of this week, so I'll do what I can.

"Damn, Romney really needs to be more careful about the things he says." - Mel Gibson

Romney's campaign is so dead the Mormons just baptized it.



Read that Apple is now suing guy for using Ap.L.
Think about that a minute.

This is me every time I hear someone begin to shuffle cards....

This is the way my wife looks...like...all the time...

No one has ever thanked me for waiting at least four hours after a major international tragedy to make jokes about it.


This is me when I accidentally tune in to a Christian channel and feel compleled to listen a few minutes....

This is the way I look when I find there's more to the form on the back page....

I called my daughter over a computer problem I was having. She told me to first back up. After a few minutes she asked if it worked now and I said I couldn't see the screen from way across the room.



My wife makes Jabba the Hutt sounds while she eats.



I'll never forget the first time I saw a porn star that was younger than I was.



I read about a woman who snagged her labia minora in her pants zipper.



If we actually did live like there's no tomorrow, we'd all be in jail.


This is why god invented wedding rehearsals....

I will state as a fact, if he could, he would...

This was so good I'm sending it around again...


I have no idea what this outburst is about....but, my, don't he look serious...
Was the football player attempting to salute?



TRUE: My wife said something very, very funny, and when we stopped laughing she asked, "Was your ex-wife anything like me?"
I shrugged and said, "Two breasts, one vagina....it's really not that complicated."



This guy fell off his bike and got abrasions that look like a bike....



Can you imagine.....

Interesting progression from plane, to collapse....

And people wonder why they are always smiling...


How to know, beyond any reasonable doubt, that you are a douchebag......the Mitt Romney of Europe.....

I guess you could find one guy to say about anything you wanted, but still worth thinking about.....




North Korean iPad....







This was written in the '60's.....



I have the strangest urge to slap the shit out of this kid...







Watch carefully....



The caption on this was "It's about time."
I have no idea, but it looks like a solar cooker. Anybody?

Finally....




This is a real animal.....yeah....damn!


He makes it look so easy...

I made some very close friends in the military, but I bet we have nothing in common now, except for then...

Don't teach your children to hate....please....


"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Doris."
"Doris who?"
"Doris locked. That's why I knocked."




I find it irritating when someone says "Question" before asking a question.




SMOKING AND MOTELS
Hard to find a room that allows smoking nowadays. Rather confusing since 25% of people around here smoke.
Saturday in Greenville I made my wife drive around looking for a motel that allows smoking. Finally found one, a concrete-block line of rooms with Mexicans sitting outside their rooms smoking dope from large shared bongs. I was still willing to give it a shot until my wife spotted the cock fighting in the bed of one of their pick-ups.
We ended up in a very nice multi-floor hotel and to smoke I had to open the window the allowable 4", then stick my arm and face as far outside as possible. From the outside I must have looked like Jack Nicholson during the bathroom scene in The Shining. 
That worked pretty well, especially the warm air. My wife had found the thermostat setting between "meat locker" and "Santa's workshop."





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